(Closed) Another one makes it 9 – and it’s not me

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
3303 posts
Sugar bee

I am sorry girl- hope you get a proposal soon *hugs*

Post # 4
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Oh and my Fiance has that same anxiety disorder—- Too Much Information but he catches it BAD when he is nervous or when he is put on the spot infront of people—- he still managed to propose to me and is very excited to get married- that is no excuse so I hope you guy figures that out.

Post # 7
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry–I just learned of another engagement at my office today too so I know how you feel. 

I try to remind myself that it will happen when my Boyfriend or Best Friend is ready to make it happen and it will be just as special in a few months as it will right now. (More hopefully since I plan on laying off all the naggy little marriage comments for the next few months!)

I know it’s hard, but maybe give yourself 5 minutes to wallow in the bad feelings and after those 5 minutes are up tell yourself to smile (studies show the act of smiling actually makes you happy!) and mentall move on to a different topic!

Post # 8
2893 posts
Sugar bee

I hope you feel better. I’m sorry things are kinda rough at the moment. But the flu on top of it all can really push someone to the edge. So, here’s to hoping you get over the sickness quick and you see a proposal even quicker. 🙂

Post # 9
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I sorry 🙁 Maybe the wedding will be that little nudge he needs to finally propose to you. I know being sick sucks and it makes everything worse so I hope you feel better really soon. 🙂

P.S. It’s good to see that your Boyfriend or Best Friend is handling his anxiety well. I get extremely nervous when i’m the center of attnetion so I can totally understand where he is coming from on this.

Post # 10
121 posts
Blushing bee

@Isilme: first and foremost, MY BIRTHDAY IS THURSDAY TOO!!! hehehee WOOHOOOO

I TOTALLY understand how you feel!!!  It seems like EVERYONE around us is getting engaged, and each time it happens I feel the green monster rising haha   I just had a conversation with my SO’s ex from a long time ago about what excursions to do on her honeymoon in AUGUST, they just got engaged in December.  NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR   But, ultimately, I realize, my time will come and I’m happy for her (She lost her husband to cancer in Oct. 09′)  We went to a destination wedding last year, and a couple from THAT wedding who haven’t been together as long as us, also got engaged and we have been invited to another destination wedding for them in October.  lol 

You seem to have a LOT on your plate, but you also seem like you are very strong and vent in a healthy way…kudos to you!  I firmly believe what doesn’t kill us can only make us stronger! 

I’m sorry that financially you don’t have anything to spare right now, but when you can swing a little, maybe you guys could put something on layaway?

I hope it all works out for you!! *HUGS*

Post # 12
63 posts
Worker bee


Islime — I think you and I are on the same page about a lot of things.  And as much sanity as we bring to this place, I think we all have our weak moments.  I had a similar breakdown last Sunday after a weekend full of Facebook engaged announcement > 2nd Facebook engaged announcement > Facebook “I found THE dress” announcement > corny tv sitcom with retirement home old people deciding to get married b/c “time is precious” > cartoon move with people falling in love and getting married > cartoon comedy movie with aliens falling in love > getting ready for future SIL’s bachelorette party > trying on Bridesmaid or Best Man dress…..     I just couldn’t take it and burst out into tears.

It is only natural, when you want something so badly, to be a bit envious when other people have it, and to have a bad taste in your mouth when other people take it for granted or don’t want it when they’re being handed it on a silver platter.  I DEFINITELY know the feeling. 

It doesn’t make us bad people.  And it doesn’t make us wrong.  It just makes us human.

Even though my brother and his fiancee are 5 and 6 years younger than me, I know that this is the right time in THEIR lives after a VERY long relationship (much longer than mine) and engagement for them to get married. 

As much as I am ready to have a FAMILY, I actually am terrified of the realistic thought of having kids right now (financially and time-commitment wise).  My SO and I are both in fairly stable jobs with moderate incomes, some of the extras (Uverse, Sirius), and a townhome.  On one hand, I couldn’t imagine being able to afford, have the room for, or have the time for a kid/kids.  And yet I see families (and for that matter, 15 yr old girls) being able to feed/cloth/support their kids on a fraction of what we make.  And sure, I get a little envious when I see these cute little mid-20s girls with their cute hubbies and their cute little family with the cute stroller and cute little house — and it makes me yearn to start a family. But just b/c others have started families does that mean it’s the right time for US to have kids?  No. B/c my SO works out of town, so I’d be going through pregnancy by myself, and raising babies by myself…  It’s just not the right time for us, even though it’s the right time for others. 

I am not particularly religious, but I do believe that God has a hand in my life and has a reason for everything he does.  I have seen Him make me wait for lots of things in my life, and looking back, I know why He made me wait.  I appreciate them so much more, and I have learned so many lessons from having to try try try again and wait for what I want.  Conversely, my brother is one of those where (although he works hard for everything he’s accomplished), everything just always seems to work out for him.  Everything has fallen into place for him on his first try. I am very proud of him for what he’s accomplished, but I know deep down that, perhaps, there are lessons that I have learned in having to try, try, try again, and then lose, and then try again, and then lose again, that he has never had to endure. 

Ok, sorry, I’m rambling now.  Back to my point.

My point is that, while your friend may be having marriage handed to her on a silver platter, she won’t appreciate it and protect it and be willing to put in the effort to make it work like you will.  Having read your many posts, I foresee that WHEN you and your SO finally get married, you both will cherish that marriage and protect it, and it will last forever.  Conversely, your friend may be setting herself up for heartache and divorce.   Waiting is miserable, and I hate that we are both going through this.  But I can only see it as a means to an end….  that end being a strong forever marriage that both my SO and I are sure about and sure that we both wanted to be in. 

Just think….if I’d stuck to my March ultimatum, I’d probably be getting engaged this month, but I’d have to endure a lifetime of a dysfunctional marriage where my Husband would always feel like he was forced into it.  If I only have to wait until July (the date that HE set for HIMSELF), then I suppose a few months more wait is worth it for a lifetime of VOLUNTARY commitment.

Post # 14
5 posts
  • Wedding: April 2012

I hope you feel better too! I have been lurking for a little while (since a good friend got engaged at Christmas & I am helping her plan) and this post was so fitting for today, I had to comment.  I found out a 3rd girl in my small work department of 13 is engaged..so I feel your pain/frustration completely. I have decided to go to the gym and really work off the frustration and cuddle up with my furbabies when I get home.  I know you cant workout b/c you have the flu, but maybe focus your attention on some craft or some thing to clean, just to get your mind off of it. I hope sometime very soon your SO will give you that proposal.  *hugs*

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