(Closed) another plus one query

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

When my sister recently broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years, I secretly cheered not only because he was a total douche, but because that was one less i had to invite – HOORAY!!!

My sister did assume she was still allowed a +1.  I told her not unless she plans on meeting someone new and getting engaged in the next 6 months.

I would make a telephone call and talk to him about it if it really bothers you.  I’d be careful about it as you dont want to throw salt on an open wound, plus you dont know if they could end up back together before then…


Post # 4
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

did you put the name of the girlfriend on the envelope? if you did, then you are safe.  he can’t sub in another person.

Post # 5
322 posts
Helper bee

Maybe my opinion will help because obviously I’m a little sensitive with this subject right now hahaha 🙂 Hope you don’t mind me responding to yours. If numbers are a true problem and you have to keep it below a certain number, I would try explaining that to him. Feel him out and perhaps you can bring it up as getting his opinion rather than just telling him “now that you’re single, sorry but you have to come alone!” (not that you would say exactly that but you get my drift). I would try telling him you are so sorry that he and his gf broke up. Then ask if he will be comfortable attending the wedding solo with the rest of the group of friends as you are running low on space. Tell him if he doesn’t bring a date that gives him the opportunity to meet a new girl 🙂

In all honesty, if any of my friends approached me like this with a real, serious, true reason, I would respond very well and be very understanding. It’s the stuff with no explanation and stuff that you don’t expect that is tough to stomach.

Post # 6
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think if you put her name on the envelope, you’re okay. But maybe be ready for him to not be so up to date on wedding etiquette (really, who is until they’re getting married?) and bring someone regardless.

Post # 7
3265 posts
Sugar bee

If you put ‘and guest’ then you have given him carte blanche as to whom he invites. If you put ‘and Sally Johnson’ then he cannot bring anyone other then Sally.

Unfortunately, you cannot uninvite an ‘and guest’.

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