- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
SO my wedding is a ways away still but we are hopefully going to book our venue soon and we need to address the alcohol issue at the reception….the reception place does allow alcohol….but we have an issue(s) that im not sure most people will understand outside of our family….but seeing so much hate about a dry wedding on here and how according to most “my wedding will be completely horrible, no one will show up and everyone will hate me afterwards” if i dont foot the bill for my guests to get completely shit faced at our wedding….
let me preface this by saying….I do not have a problem with drinking if you can moderate it….even though i personally havent drank in 3 years and neither has FI, we do have several friends who drink socially as well as family members….So what is the problem you are probably asking yourself….
well MY PERSONAL CONCERN about having alcohol at the wedding is that….My FMIL, one of the groomsmen and 1 of my FIs uncles…..are RECOVERING ALCOHOLICS! His mom is just starting her sobriety…and god love her she has been stone sober for a month now….at the wedding if she stays on wich she swears she will, and is working really hard at she will only have been sober for 17 MONTHS! His groomsman has been sober for a few years now but has even said he STILL after 3 years stays completely away from bars and social situations where alcohol is involoved, hes even said he will skip the bachelor party if he feels like he cant stay sober through it….we love him lke family and i dont want him to miss our reception because people want to get drunk on my dollar and my fears people will hate me because im considering a dry wedding….
then there is his uncle….FIs FAVORITE uncle!! has been on and off the wagon for the last 15 years and every day is a struggle he just finished his 4th stent in treatment 3 years ago trying to stay sober….and battle his PTSD and other deamons….
So i get it is a MAJOR risk for their overall healths to have free flowing booze at our wedding, and i dont want them to feel like a$$ because ive had to hire a babysitter to watch them all night….and have them be uncomfortable surrounded by their family and friends who are getting tanked….
Most of the people who will be invited are ok with a dry wedding particurally close family, but everyone else seems to think im a DICK because im even thinking about it….
so here is my question, Am i being RUDE as ive just been accused of by a cousin, and aunt by not having booze at the wedding(well really just considering it)…..I mean am i being unreasonable???
if anyone else has a suggestion im all ears…but at this point its making me want to not care if certain people cant understand that 3 people i love and mean the world to me would be in physical pain to be surrounded by booze! and making me feel like i have certain people in my life who dont care about the wedding or us, but only care about the party….Its not like im doing this to be cheap or mightier than thou….or for religious reasons….im doing it because i dont want to spend my honeymoon terrified i threw people off the wagon, or god forbid sitting there holding my goodfriends hand in the ICU while hes being treated for SEVERE alcohol poisioning wich is what happened the last time he fell off the wagon….
so i guesse im just curious….is everyone seriously going to hate me and my wedding be horrible if i dont booze up the rest of the guests even though their is a legitamate reason….
please help bees i shouldnt be this stressed this far away from my wedding but i gotta start making down payments and this decision affects the bottom dollar….