(Closed) Another post about combining money or keeping it separate

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 46
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Cottage on the Creek

we keep our $$$ separate and I love it that way! to be fair, we make very close to the same amounts. I pay every single bill and he writes me a flat rate “rent check” everymonth. we’ve been doing this for 2 years. He asked me if I wanted to combine $$$ when we got engaged and I said NO WAY! If he could see how much I just spent at TJ Maxx on Saturday I’d be in trouble 🙂 But really, I like the independence, for now. When we have kids that will probably change. 

Post # 46
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Bellagio, Las Vegas

Ultimately, you need to consult an attorney about this. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, you need to speak about a fair compromise with your fiancé. 

Post # 47
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
anotheranonabee:  I just have a couple thoughs, as I work in elder care, albeit in a community property state.  If you also live in a community property state go ahead and stop reading, it makes no difference whose name your bank accounts are in when you get married, they belong to both of you equally.  Also this is super long so if you don’t care to read about retirement options feel free to leave me here 😉

First, what your Fiance is referring to is Medicaid, not Medicare.  Medicare is paid for by future and current users, and is widely available to those over 65.  Medicaid, by contrast, is designed to pay medical care copays and provide custodial care to low-income individuals who are unable to pay for such care themselves.  Medicare will not pay for private-duty caregivers or nursing homes, but Medicaid will.  Many states have different names for their Medicaid programs, in AZ we have AHCCCS and ALTCS, each state might be different.

And, this is important: a person should only be eligible for Medicaid if in dire financial need.  One party of the couple should not be making out like a bandit while the other receives care subsidized by the state.  Rules were set into place to prevent this, specifying that it doesn’t matter whose name is listed on the bank accounts or property title, if the couple is married, all that money is counted toward eligibility assessment.  So either your FI’s grandparents have devised a way to scam the system and are currently committing Medicaid fraud, or your Fiance is confused about the situation.

But if your Fiance makes good money this is irrelevant, because your goal should be to save for retirement and meet your care needs without state intervention.  Planning to be on Medicaid is irresponsible for several reasons.  1. It assumes Medicaid will still be there when you need it.  This is the same reason we shouldn’t be counting social security as a viable part of our retirement fund.  2. It diminishes personal responsibility in providing independent care.  People with good jobs and opportunities should not be using Medicaid funds, it drains the system for the people who need it most.  Medicaid is for people who COULDN’T save for retirement, not for people who chose not to.  And 3. Medicaid care is not the kind of care most people want.  Nursing homes and group homes that accept Medicaid are not typically quality facilities.  There are exceptions to that rule but for the most part you’ll get far better care at a privately-funded facility than one that accepts Medicaid.

I hope that helps you when you discuss the issue with your Fiance, it’s awesome that you guys are thinking about these things early!  As for separate bank accounts, that’s a matter of opinion and compromise so I hope you two come to a solution that you both feel good about.  Good luck!!!

Post # 49
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My husband I have separate accounts.  We simply like different banks.  I use a brokerage account and he likes to use an “old school” bank.  My income is significantly higher, but I would not let him starve or anything so I guess it doesn’t matter.  We don’t live paycheck to paycheck.

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