Post # 1
just need to vent a little bit here…
my boyfriend gave me a promise ring when i was five months pregnant. ok, that’s sweet. he wasn’t ready to propose and i was fine with that.
fast forward eight months later. we discussed a timeline, and will be engaged by the end of this year. however, on sunday, he presents me with ANOTHER promise ring! and this one actually looks like an engagement ring.
i’m so uncomfortable wearing it and even slightly embarrassed. like, whats the point of this ring? why did he waste money on another promise ring if he plans on proposing in a few months? is he just trying to stall for more time? i honestly don’t know what to think.
thanks for listening to me whine:)
Post # 3
I think you should ask him if its to keep stalling? I am sorry though. :/
Post # 4
Depending on your relationship… I would ask him about it. Especially if you guys did communicate a timeline, to which he says you would be engaged by the end of the year. Maybe that’s his way of saying you are engaged? I’m not sure on this one. I am just as confused as you are 🙁 I would definately be thinking “what the heck?” on that one!
Post # 5
Ugh i feel bad for you.. As if having a child isnt promise enough! You need a real ring honey! You should definitely open communication lines with him and approach him in a way that won’t make him defensive or feel bad about not proposing.. It could just cause a fight! But you deserve to know where this is going!
Post # 6
I also think you should just come right out and ask him about it. Say exactly what you said to us.
“Why would you buy me a second promise ring when our engagement is right around the corner?”
Easy enough, right? I am interested to see what he says. Maybe he is too nervous to go through with actually asking?
Post # 7
Maybe he gave you this ring as an ering and was feeling your reaction if it was what you wanted? Maybe he used it as a gauge to see how much more he should be putting into the ering he’s looking for? Sometimes they just want to get that perfect ring and this was his tester. 😉 Good luck on a real ring asap!
Post # 8
“You said you plan on proposing. We have a child together. Why are we still doing the promise ring routine, just propose already.”
I understand your frustration. This isn’t high school, you guys have a baby together.
Post # 9
my thoughts exactly. i’m not twelve. (no offense to people with promise rings and that love them. to each their own.)
i’m a grown woman, with two kids (i have a 3 year old son from a previous relationship) and i’m a stay at home mom. having a promise ring is ridiculous to me. we live together and raise these kids together, we’ve made those promises to each other.
i’m good enough to have your baby and wash your underwear, but i’m not good enough to be your wife? haha.
Post # 10
Yeah…I don’t understand what he’s doing there.
If he’s already promised you that he intends to marry you and he has the dough for a ring that would suffice as an engagement ring, then why not just call it a proposal?
Post # 11
@sunshine_kar: That’s a tough one. I think the best way to find out what he’s thinking is to ask him. Just tell him the second promise ring has confused you and you want to know if everything you talked about and planned still stands. Or if the second “promise ring” was meant to be an engagement ring? Boys are strange…
Post # 12
went through the same kind of situation with my Fiance…we dont have a child together by i do have a son from a previous relationship that my Fiance and i raise together. he only gave me 1 PR….i stated to him that i was an adult women, not a high school teen. i refused to wear the ring. needless to say after a long week of talking, questioning his motives and lots of crying he FINALLY understood where i was coming from. he proposed 2 mths later on our ann 🙂
Dont bite your tounge GIRL!!! SAY SOMETHING!
Post # 13
what exactly did he say when he gave it to you – ive never seen a promise ring so im a bit confused how a guy gives someone a significant ring purchase and it not be an engagment ring
Post # 14
@eloping: well both times were terribly unromantic. haha.
the first time, i had been spending the day with my mom and he came to pick me up. on our way home, he said “how about i get you a promise ring.” i thought it was sweet that he was a least trying, so we just went to the store and bought one i liked.
on sunday, we were on the way to the fair. we stopped at a store and he took me over to the jewelry case. he said that it was time to upgrade my promise ring. my heart stopped beating. lol. he pointed to one and said that’s it right there. i asked why i needed a new promise ring (to clarify that’s what it was) and he said because i need a nicer one.
he bought it and handed me the box. i put it on in the car, told him it was pretty, he said that’s good, then we went to the fair.
end discussion of the ring. haha.
Post # 15
hmmmmmmmmmm – i would be kicking his arse and saying im too old to for a promise ring but ive been told im also pretty blunt 🙂
personally i think a promise ring at this stage of your life is a bit insulting – although he no doubt thinks he was doing something very sweet. im guessing hes pretty comfortable where things are and needs a push to get off the comfy chair to the marriage discussion table.
Post # 16
@eloping: see. that’s why i’m confused. i’m very honest and told him before it was stupid for me to be wearing a promise ring instead of an engagement ring. especially because we HAVE talked about marriage, and he said we’ll be engaged by the end of this year.
i even stopped wearing my other promise ring. i was tired of being asked if i was engaged.
i’m wearing the one he just bought, but only because he did just buy it and i don’t want to hurt his feelings. but come on.
like he tells our son, its time to cowboy up. hahaha.