(Closed) Moved wedding holds only 40 people instead of the 130 invited….

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I’m confused – why did you move to a venue that would only hold 40 people when you have already invited 130? I’m sorry, but I don’t think there’s any way you can handle that without some hurt feelings. 

Post # 6
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you are sending notices that the wedding has been postponed. I think that would handle it. I would also send new invites to the few that are invited. I am guessing that no matter what you do you are going to hurt people’s feelings.  Maybe you could wait until the fall and push back the date a little more, and find a venue that would accomodate all of the people you invited.

Post # 7
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Could you consider a Friday wedding?  Or a morning wedding with a brunch reception?  I think that you will have a very sticky situation on your hands having to uninvite people…it would have been better to find a day/time/venue which would accommodate both your already invited guests and your budget.  If you can still make any changes, I would suggest doing that.

If you absolutely can’t change or don’t want to, then I would expect some people to feel hurt, insulted, angry, or generally not understanding.  Pretty much anytime you uninvite guests, you run that risk.  Are you asking how you should tell them?

Post # 8
Member
683 posts
Busy bee

I would avoid uninviting people at all costs- or at least maybe do a small celebration afterwards- closer to the guests that can’t make it? Once the  invites are out- it’s a sealed deal.

 

Post # 9
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

When was the original date and when is the new date?  I would stop telling people that it was “postponed” and start saying that the wedding was “canceled” and the you are not getting married at a very small ceremony at a later date.  That way it isn’t like you are uninviting people.  The event you invited them to was canceled and so the invitations to everyone were canceled.  Then, as a separate matter, you are planning an entirely different event for some other time, and are free to have a separate guest list. 

I would return any gifts to people who you had invited, but will not be invited to the new wedding.  Send them back with a note saying “thank you so much for thinking of us, but since the wedding (but not the marriage!) was canceled, we didn’t feel right accepting this.  Thank you for your kindness and understanding!”  If they still want you to have it, they can send it back a second time 😉

edit: I like the pp’s idea about a seperate celebration later- could you plan a cookout for the original list some other day?

Post # 10
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

This is kinda bad taste.  I understand personal reasons caused you to move it, but you can’t “uninvite” 100 people just because the venue changed. 

I agree, you need to be telling people the wedding is CANCELLED.  If you tell this it is postponed then they will still be expecting an invitation.  Tell them due to personal reasons you will be holding a small ceremony with immediate family only. 

Post # 11
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

oops, I came back to check this thread and I realized that I typed “you are not getting married…” when what I meant was “you are now getting married…” Big difference, lol!

The topic ‘Moved wedding holds only 40 people instead of the 130 invited….’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors