(Closed) Another Rich/Poor Spinoff: You vs. Your SO (Poll)

posted 6 years ago in Money
  • poll:

    SO and I both grew up poor

    SO and I both grew up middle class

    SO and I both grew up rich

    SO and I come from different socioeconomic backgrounds, but it doesn't cause problems

    SO and I come from different socioeconomic backgrounds and it can be/has been difficult

  • Post # 16
    Member
    2127 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

    I grew up middle class, if not upper-middle class. My husband though definitely lower class with his Mom & stepdad (part-time), but his dad & stepmom were upper-middle class (majority of his life/time). It hasn’t been an issue. His mom has failed to improve her situation and my husband has little sympathy for reasons I won’t disclose here. Her situation in itself can cause tension sometimes haha, but we ultimately are able to create fairly successful financial case for ourselves thus far and understand each other for our past and future!

    Post # 17
    Member
    1463 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I grew up upper middle class – private schools, country club, nice vacations, etc.  However, I had to pay for my own college (long story, not going there here).

    Fiance grew up working class – public school, very little travel, college paid for by GI bill.

    But today Fiance makes much more than I do.  This is because 1.  he is 18 years older than I am; 2.  he was never burdened by student loan debt; 3.  he did not lose his job in the recession whereas I did.

    Post # 18
    Member
    433 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Scottish Rite Cathedral (New Castle, PA)

    View original reply
    BeachBee1988:  DH and I both grew up middle class but different types of middle class. We were lower middle class, I’m an only child and while we always had food on the table we didn’t have extra lying around. I started working as soon as I was legally able and contributed to our family income throughout high school and college. DH’s family had three kids, never had late bills, had two cars, etc. His parents were able to give each of their kids $10k towards college so I would consider him more upper middle class. The only time it has become a topic of disagreement is in that I would willingly lend my family money and he will not. He doesn’t agree with any money situations with family and friends. Whereas I grew up helping my parents out, paying some bills, lending them money, etc. His parents have never asked him money and he didn’t have to work to support himself until after college (even then they allowed him to live at home for free and save up to buy his own house). In addition, I am a lot more money conscious and worry more about money, he doesn’t worry about as he’s never had it not be there when he needs it. We are fortunate to by upper middle class now so I think that helps us to not have disagreements money wise as we are comfortable. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    I’d say we both grew up in working class homes, but were raised very differently.  My mom was a Stay-At-Home Mom during most of our childhood, and my dad worked two jobs. We never lacked for anything, but definitely no money for extras. No GAP sweaters or Nikes for me! Fiance, on the other hand, was raised by a single mom, and also worked two jobs. She spoiled the heck outta them though, and I think (privately) that this was to overcompensate for their dad not being in their lives and for herself maybe not being as present in their lives (due to work of course).
    Funny enough, he’s more of a saver, whereas I’m more of a spender. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    49 posts
    Newbee

    We both grew up in upper middle class (in different countries) but I think I have had more close friends from different backgrounds which have made me a bit more aware of economic aspects then my DH and a bit more cautious about expenses.

    Post # 21
    Member
    1156 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    DH’s parents made a lot more than mine, but mine were better at saving and as a kid I was never without anything. We always had one big family vacation a year, etc. Dh’s parents made a lot more, but were in debt up to their eyeballs so they never had nice things or cars or vacations. Dh more or less likes the way my family dealt with money so we’ve incorporated that in how we save and spend – no issues. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    1616 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2018 - City, State

    According to the CNN calculator we both grew up “rich.” However, our actual upbringings were much different. Fiance has always been very spoiled–parents bought him anything he wanted and more, a car, paid for his education, etc. My parents, even though they were more than able to, made me pay for everything–car, education, bills, any extras (not complaining, just a fact)

    This causes contention in our relationship sometimes because he is not good at budgeting or saving and he’s never had to really work for anything so sometimes I feel like he doesnt get what I’m trying to say. He’ll understand much better when we are on our own in a new city together next month. But, despite being ridiculously spoiled he’s a hard worker and a kind, grateful person so somehow he turned out great despite getting everything handed to him LOL 

    Post # 23
    Member
    138 posts
    Blushing bee

    I grew up upper-ish middle class? But once I turned 16, all my bills (aside from food/shelter) were my responsibility. I moved across the country alone at 18 without help, so I’m used to being independent. SO grew up much wealthier than I did, having his first cars being paid for in cash by his parents ($30k+ cars), paying for all his college, credit card bills while in school, etc. It doesn’t cause problems for us now; I’m just shell-shocked sometimes by the things he defines as “expensive” vs. what I think is. For instance, a $10k ring is expensive to me, whereas to him, it’s not that much. Whatever you say, babe….

    Post # 24
    Member
    549 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    BeachBee1988: My family was upper middle class, her family lower middle class. Together we’re upper middle class to wealthy depending on commission pay out for the year, bonuses etc.

    How it’s effected us: We aren’t much different, we’ve discussed where we both came from and have decided that we’d like to be a mix of the two styles of raising a family and financial spending priorities. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    7414 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    BeachBee1988:  We come from vastly different backgrounds from both an education and a socioeconomic standpoint.  It generally doesn’t cause problems and we both have the same values for the future and what we want for our life.  It is apparent sometimes, usually when it comes to gifts from our families (mostly my grandparents) but it doesn’t usually cause us any issues.

     

    Post # 26
    Member
    3662 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    I grew up upper middle, SO grew up lower upper (is that a thing?) All told it doesn’t have any impact on our relationship but then there really isn’t a huge difference between how we grew up.

    I will say that our tastes and perception of value are different though. Not sure why the discrepancy exists but so far it hasn’t caused any problems.

    Post # 27
    Member
    2292 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    My husband and I had significantly different childhoods in many aspects, including financially. My family struggled; his family was comfortable. It hasn’t really caused problems, because from my experiences I knew I wanted to be a financially responsible adult so I wouldn’t have to be in a situation where I only owned one pair of pants, or my electicity got cut off, or I had to tape my glasses together because I couldn’t afford to replace them. Similarly, my husband is financially responsible, because he had that example growing up.

    The only thing we had a little friction with was in terms of investing. I knew about saving and being frugal, but it took me a little time to get used to the idea of investing, because it seemed like a gamble to me and I couldn’t “see” the money. It’s been a few years since our first investment and while I still begrudgingly hand over the funds to continue investing, I have warmed up to it and feel more comfortable now. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    320 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2000

    I grew up an only child with both parents working good jobs. DH grew up the oldest of three with only his dad working. His dad makes a good bit of money now, but when DH was in the home, they struggled and sacrificed a lot. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    267 posts
    Helper bee

    We both grew up middle class, but I grew up in a fairly affluent villiage and he grew up on a farm. We are great together because I wanted out of my area and into the farm life.

    Post # 30
    Member
    7225 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    He was middle class/upper middle class. I was dirt poor, choose between food and electricity poor. No issues.

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