(Closed) Another role instead of bridesmaid?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
11480 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

At 14, she should be a junior bridesmaid. That way, she can still be a part of your bridal party without having the expectation that she should be included in adult activities.

Post # 3
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Definitely a junior bridesmaid role.  That way she’s included but you can keep her at least a little separate.

Post # 4
Member
47256 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

amac2:  How can a 25 year old be forced to have a cousin be a bridesmaid? This is your wedding, you make the decisions about your bridal party.

Post # 5
Member
6717 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

At 14 she shouldn’t be “trying to snog” anyone and that would be all the reason I needed to say no way would she be in my wedding.  I also wonder how you can be forced into this.  Are you paying for your own event?  If so, no one can demand anything of you.  If not, I’d still refuse based on her bad behavior.

Let her do a reading if you want, but I wouldn’t.

Post # 6
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I had my 2 nieces as junior bridesmaids they were 12 and 13.  I felt it would be inappropriate to have them as bridesmaids escorted by 30+ yo men.  They were there for getting ready and pictures but not involved in other wedding party fun

Post # 7
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I think I’d just say no. If it were my fourteen year old niece, I’d find a role for her, but she’s a cousin. Fourteen is old enough to understand that it is someone else’s wedding. And, I find her behavior with your finace unacceptable. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  robsbeach.
Post # 8
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

You could make her a junior bridesmaid or an  usher.

Post # 9
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

amac2:  At 14 I was usually asked to be an usher/guestbook attendant. Honestly, she’s just a cousin and she’s been inappropriate, I would stand my ground and not have her in the party at all. 

Post # 11
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

Junior bridesmaid sounds like a good way to go about it, at least insofar as keeping her away from your fiance while keeping her as a bridesmaid

As for other roles – there are none. There is no substitute for being a bridesmaid (or groomsmen). Junior bridesmaid is still a bridesmaid, just littler. Usher, welcomer, someone doing a reading – these are all just cheap consolation prizes and people are catching onto this.

If you don’t want to upset your family, you need to make her a bridesmaid in some capacity. And if you don’t want her as a bridesmaid, you have to upset your family.

Have you by any chance told them that she’s 14 and trying to draw your fiance into what is essentially adultery???

Post # 12
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Muhlhauser Barn

jr bridesmaid for sure!  or have her hand out programs

Post # 13
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I’d take a cheap consolation prize over being a bridesmaid any day! Put her in a role you feel comfortable with, or let them know she will not have a role. I’m about what makes you happy

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