Post # 1
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
Hi guys,
I’m getting married next September, I’ll be 25 and have chosen 4 of my closest friends to be my bridesmaids. We are all around the same age and have planned trips away to dress shop, my wild hens night, and a ‘hags’ night is planned abroad with the stags at some point. The problem is i am being forced to ask my younger cousin (14) to be a bridesmaid. Without sounding to nasty, she is at a very awkward gawky stage of teens, she is incredibly young for her age…for example tried to snog my fiancé at every event we are together. It is really stressing me out and I’m trying to come up with a few roles she can have within the wedding to keep my family happy as they are furious with me but also just have my girls as bridesmaids?? Any suggestions would be very welcome xxx
Post # 2
Member
11532 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
At 14, she should be a junior bridesmaid. That way, she can still be a part of your bridal party without having the expectation that she should be included in adult activities.
Post # 3
Member
2798 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
Definitely a junior bridesmaid role. That way she’s included but you can keep her at least a little separate.
Post # 4
Member
47421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
amac2: How can a 25 year old be forced to have a cousin be a bridesmaid? This is your wedding, you make the decisions about your bridal party.
Post # 5
Member
6836 posts
Busy Beekeeper
At 14 she shouldn’t be “trying to snog” anyone and that would be all the reason I needed to say no way would she be in my wedding. I also wonder how you can be forced into this. Are you paying for your own event? If so, no one can demand anything of you. If not, I’d still refuse based on her bad behavior.
Let her do a reading if you want, but I wouldn’t.
Post # 6
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
I had my 2 nieces as junior bridesmaids they were 12 and 13. I felt it would be inappropriate to have them as bridesmaids escorted by 30+ yo men. They were there for getting ready and pictures but not involved in other wedding party fun
Post # 7
Member
1642 posts
Bumble bee
I think I’d just say no. If it were my fourteen year old niece, I’d find a role for her, but she’s a cousin. Fourteen is old enough to understand that it is someone else’s wedding. And, I find her behavior with your finace unacceptable.
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This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by
robsbeach.
Post # 8
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
You could make her a junior bridesmaid or an usher.
Post # 9
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
amac2: At 14 I was usually asked to be an usher/guestbook attendant. Honestly, she’s just a cousin and she’s been inappropriate, I would stand my ground and not have her in the party at all.
Post # 10
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
amac2: Jr Bridesmaid or welcomer!
Post # 11
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
Junior bridesmaid sounds like a good way to go about it, at least insofar as keeping her away from your fiance while keeping her as a bridesmaid
As for other roles – there are none. There is no substitute for being a bridesmaid (or groomsmen). Junior bridesmaid is still a bridesmaid, just littler. Usher, welcomer, someone doing a reading – these are all just cheap consolation prizes and people are catching onto this.
If you don’t want to upset your family, you need to make her a bridesmaid in some capacity. And if you don’t want her as a bridesmaid, you have to upset your family.
Have you by any chance told them that she’s 14 and trying to draw your fiance into what is essentially adultery???
Post # 12
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: November 2016 - Muhlhauser Barn
jr bridesmaid for sure! or have her hand out programs
Post # 13
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
I’d take a cheap consolation prize over being a bridesmaid any day! Put her in a role you feel comfortable with, or let them know she will not have a role. I’m about what makes you happy