(Closed) Another Sad Deployment Post

posted 7 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
256 posts
Helper bee

im sorry your situation sucks:(

if marriage is where both of you are heading maybe ye could do it now?

go to court and get it and have the party after once hes home?

i dont know what else to say other than stay strong*hugs*

Post # 4
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Do you have time to just go to the courthouse today or tomorrow? Not sure of the rules with marriage licenses in your state. Often they waive the 24 hour waiting period for 2 adults. This would at least give you legal marriage status. And then you could have a big bash when he gets back to celebrate his homecoming and your marriage. In terms of pregnancy unfortunately there isn’t much you can do there but have Faith that when he gets back you will still be fertile. Take advantage of the weekends that he is here in the US. If you have vacation time, use it to visit him at his training sites. My boss has gone through this, her husband was deployed when their daughter was 4 months old. He did training first and she went to visit as often as she could.

Post # 5
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Sorry 🙁 If I were you I’d definitely do the courthouse thing NOW and plan a ceremony for when he returns. 

Post # 6
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve followed most of your waiting posts, (most recently the baby NOW one), and I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this all at once. That being said, I agree with the PP’s-get to a JOP NOW, and go at it like rabbits for the next 48 hours. No, it’s not the way you both imagined things going, but you can always have a nice celebration later on. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would advise against getting married just because he’s getting deployed.  Literally 9/10 those marriages end in divorce.  I was in the military and while these situations are NEVER easy, getting married won’t solve all of your problems – especially the fertility thing.

When I was in, we had support systems and it did not matter if you were married or not (Air Force).  Maybe do a little more digging to find a group – perhaps a church or something.  I know you probably can’t get on base by yourself to attend those meetings.

There are also local groups not supported by the military that SUPPORT the military (care packages, etc.) USO being one of them.  Here is a website you might like, too: www.militarysos.com

Best of luck, I know it will not be easy, but it will not be forever – try to remember that.

Post # 9
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m so sorry.  I’m sure that things will work out for you though.

Post # 12
Member
671 posts
Busy bee

@Oneeleven: if you dont get pregnant before he goes.. would you consider invitro while he is away or insemination? Just a couple more options…

Post # 14
Member
671 posts
Busy bee

@Oneeleven: im kinda new to the military insurance thing… but I read about a couple who had certain portions of the process covered by tricare! You might wanna check it out.. ill do some research for you.. either way… you would have to be married..

Post # 15
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Oneeleven:  oh girl, {{{hug hug hug}}}! 

I know nothing about the Canadian version of FRG (family readiness group), or the equivalent to Tricare, but if your husband can give you the contact information for his commanding officer’s wife, maybe she can give you some guidance!  While you aren’t his wife, maybe he can still add you to the phone tree list (again, he needs to inform his CO of your situation asap!).  This would allow you to receive information as it is disseminated.

If all else fails, I fully advocate a courthouse wedding (IF you two are emotionally/mentally ready for marriage).  You can still have your dream wedding, but with a lot less red tape to cut through.

You’re in my thoughts…

Please keep us updated…

 

 

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