- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2016 - Ever After Banquet Hall
So, my situation is a little different than most. I did not divorce my first husband, he passed away after 19 years of marriage. So, relations between his family and me get a little tricky.
I am still super close to certain members on his mom’s side. In fact, his mom is my honorary Mother-of-the-bride (my mom passed away 15 years ago, so she is, for all intents and purposes, my “mom”). Even though I am only in that family by a marriage now ended by his death, they still consider me “one of them.” When one of his cousins got married in December, several family members asked me when my wedding would be (we hadn’t set a date yet at that point). But, I’m not close to all of that side. There are several cousins who never go to family gatherings and, honestly, I hardly know them.
On to his dad’s side. Nope. I’m not close to any of them. I do not get along with his step-mom at all. For example, they had a family reunion last weekend. The day of, my neice (the daughter of his full sister by his mom, so technically part of his mom’s side, too), called my kids while I was at work and asked them if they were coming. No one even told me about it. I found out about it when I came home early and my son asked me if I could drop them off. Um, no, but you can use my car and go yourself. My entire marriage was like that. I was an afterthought…if thought of at all. About 2 years before my husband died, I had already given up on most of them, realizing that I would never be included.
So, here’s my question. I know the rules about “if you invite one cousin, you have to invite them all,” but do you think it would be rude if I invited certain members of my first husband’s family (the ones who consider not only me, but also my Fiance to be part of the family), but not others? Not to mention, I would be inviting his sister, but not his step-sister or half-sister…a few of my neices and nephews, but not all.
Welcome to the world of a widow. I get to experience awkward moments like this all the time.