Post # 1
Just read through the maturity, teens, and sex thread and it got me thinking. I’ve got a 10 1/2 year old daughter. I’m currently reading a terrifying book called “Dirty Little Secreta” by Kerry Cohen about teen girls and promiscuity. I know that next year in middle school my daughter will go through sex ed.
I was talking to Darling Husband about this subject last night and he feels that she is still too young right now whereas I want her to hear about sex from us and not from sex ed. I was thinking that this summer may be a good time to start having open conversations about sex with her.
With all of that said, WHEN/HOW old what your child when you had “the talk” and what did you say?
Post # 3
I personally don’t think any age is too young to start talking to a child about sex; but it must be age-appropriate. I think that the more open you are with your child, the healthier their attitude will usually be towards sex, and the more informed they will be, and the more prepared, for when they eventually do have sex.
I remember I had a very basic book about ‘where babies come from’ when I was about 4, and my mum was pregnant with my brother. It was age-appropriate ie very much along the line of ‘when a man and a woman love each other, they sometimes make a baby, and the baby grows in the mummies tummy’. Then when I was a little older (maybe 9?) I had a slightly more advanced book which talked about the egg and sperm, and showed the foetus etc, but again, it was age appropriate and didn’t go into details about sex. Around 9 my mum also told me about periods and puberty, and at 10, we had a talk about it in school.
A book isn’t a bad way to go about it; you can read it together, and let her ask questions. Just keep it basic: dad makes sperm and mum makes egg, these fuse together and make a baby, and so on. Just be prepared for any questions, and answer honestly eg she might ask how the egg and sperm get together, so don’t try to evade questions like that.
Post # 4
@irin997: I think now would be a good time for your daughter. There is a good American Girl book I can’t think of the name of it right now but I will look it up and get back to you. My 15 year old and I have very open comunication about sex. She is still a virgin but we have talked birth control, masturbation, ec. So when she feels she is ready she is comfortable enough to come to me about birth control. She nows she can satisfy herself and not have to depend on a boy to do it. She has asked some really good questions and doesn’t feel embarrased about talking to me about it. The sooner you start the conversation the better. I gave her a book I bought at target similar to the American Girl one but for older girls. It showed a diagram of the female parts so I told her what everything was and explained she could look at it with a mirror if she wanted to see hers lol seems weird but she informed me that she did. She was shocked to find out she has 2 holes when we initially talked about it lol
Post # 5
@MarryMeTiffany: I just gave that book to my 9 year last week. She read it cover to cover and it really opened the door to talking about body changes. It really is a great tool to get the information there at the appropriate level. We talked about everything in the book asmy daughter had questions and I know she even talked to her BFF about it at school.
OP- My th grader is having “the talk” in health class this year on puberty and body changes and in 5th grade the do the sex ed part. I don’t want anyting she hears for the first time to be at school and feel to embarrassed about it so we are talking about it now.
Post # 6
My daughter is only 6 but I will be keeping on eye on this thread for idea.s
@MarryMeTiffany: oh.dear.god…. see this whole thing scares me!!! Can you tell us more about how this came up? I always figured I would wait till she asked me about it.
Post # 7
I would talk to you daughter before she begins sex ed. It’s hard to hear that stuff from teachers the first time and you don’t want her to feel like she knows soo much less than everyone else once it starts.The kids that didn’t know/asked weird questions did get made fun of.
I remember my parents tried to sit me down at age 10, but I actually knew it all by then. And I wasn’t a kid exposed to much, but just from other people talking I understood all about sex by 10.
Post # 8
@PinkMagnolia: Wow, that’s scares me! The fact that my daughter may already know more than I think she should. I guess that’s why we need to find out what she does know.
Post # 9
In my own personal experience, I learned about sex in kindergarten- and that was back in 1982. My best friend’s older sisters told me all about it. And my parents then waited until I was 10 to tell me- 5 years years too late.
So when I had a daughter, I wanted to be the one to tell her. So I bought a book (that I also posted on the other thread):
and sat down with her and explained things. She took it all incredibly well – and had good questions. But it was not a one time thing. We talk often about respecting our bodies and the biology of it all. And honestly, since I had another baby this year when she was 8, I wonder what I would have told her about how the baby got here if I wasn’t going to be honest with her. That her little sister came from the cabbage patch? I don’t know why we as a society hide sexuality from our children.
Post # 10
@eeniebeans Exactly. Society just isn’t honest enough with kids. Why do we tell kids a STORK brings babies?! Surely there are more age appropriate things to talk about with kids.
Post # 11
My mom had the sex talk with me when I was about 7 or 8. It was awkward, yes, but it’s the way it should be done. I plan on being VERY open and honest with my children (about sex) from the time they are very young. I would definitely talk to your daughter before she enters middle school and/or sex ed.
Post # 12
@PinkMagnolia: when i was 5 my mom was pregnant with my little brother. When i asked her where babies come from she told me if you want a baby, you have to take a special pill. For years afterwards I was scared of taking a “baby pill” by accident when I was given any medication. hahaha
I hope I can be more honest with my future children when the time comes.
Post # 13
@Meowkers I kissed a boy once when I was like 8 and I was SO worried I was pregnant and how embarassed my family would be… I wish my parents had given me a book.