(Closed) Another thank you note question; what would you do?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What would you do?
    Singing is a gift, send a thank you card : (49 votes)
    94 %
    Only send a thank you for more tangible gifts : (2 votes)
    4 %
    Other (please explain) : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    155 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @Frog E.:  In the past, did he sing at friends’ weddings or ‘hired’ sort of weddings (even if they weren’t paid).  Regardless, I’d send a thank you note, just to show your appreciation of them joining you and making your day special 🙂 — If they send a gift later, I’d just shoot them another thank you!

    Post # 4
    Member
    2031 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would absolutely send them a thank you, maybe not for singing but for making your day even more special, or something like that.

    Post # 5
    Member
    46670 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I honestly think that sending a thank you note to people who gave a gift of a service ( in this case singing)  at your wedding is a no-brainer.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    @julies1949:  Agreed. We did the same for the singer at our ceremony who did it for free but was still invited. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    2281 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I wouldn’t send a traditional thank you card in this case, but I would send a card, to the choir (since the core part of it sang), telling them how much it meant to you and your husband for them to be a part of the wedding.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    Definately send a thank you. I am not in the “no gift, no thank you” club. If people took the time to come they should be thanked, especially since they contributed to your ceremony.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1676 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @ProfessorGirl:  This sounds like a reasonable compromise. I vote for it. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    786 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I absolutely think you should send a thank you note. If they sang free of charge, you saved a significant amount of money (between 150.00-225.00 per musician). I’m a professional musician, and on principal, I don’t really ever perform for free (unless its a really close friend, and in that case, it would be a wedding gift), but if I did, I would absolutely expect a thank you note as it was my gift (a 150-225.00 gift is a really nice gift). 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1284 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Sending a thank you doesn’t hurt.. I think the whole “no gift, no thank you” is kind of rude.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3267 posts
    Sugar bee

    @csperry2:  Just as sending a thank you for a non gift can be rude, as it can appear that you are “fishing” for a gift.  Also I have hosted the guests, who should be sending me thank yous for hosting.  Not vice versa.

    Post # 14
    Hostess
    23597 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I definitely say send a thank you note!  Anyone who does anything for your wedding is offering a kind gesture! 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    If a friend of mine who is a talented singer came to my wedding and then did me the honor of performing to enhance my day, why would I not thank him for that? That is a gift. I don’t understand how not expressing gratitude for something can be ok. The friend who sang at my wedding sings at a lot of other weddings too but it doesn’t make his contribution to my wedding any less or mean he enhanced my day any less. The rest of the guests came and I hosted just the same but none of them enhanced my ceremony by publicly performing – he was more than just a standard guest as he gave me a non-tangible gift at the wedding. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @star_dust:  I agree, stardust. It may not be tangible, but is a gift, nonetheless!

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