(Closed) Another vent about my sister…ugh.

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@LindsayMaree:  Wow. It sounds like she need s areal wake up call.

I would write everything down for her and lay down ground rules.

No visitors after midnight

No coming home after midnight on week nights

A list of chores

A list of what she owes

And a note at the bottom that if she does not make these changes by the end of April you are evicting her (and will put all her stuff outside and change the locks).

It sounds like she just takes your hospitality for granted and doesn’t think that there will ever be any consequences. 

She needs to learn the consequences of her actions and you are doing way too much for her since she is giving nothing back to you and your Fiance.

 

Post # 7
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@LindsayMaree:  Until there are serious consequences for her actions she will not change. 

Even if she does pay rent, she moved in to your place. It’s ok for you to have your own house rules.

You tried letting her be an adult and it’s not working so now you have to treat her like a child until she starts acting like an adult. 

Does she work? 

I know you said you didn’t want advice, and just wanted to vent, but it sucks to see someone taken advantage of to the point that you are being taken advantage of and you want to make sure this doesn’t strain your relationship with your Fiance.

Post # 9
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@KatNYC2011:  I completely agree.  Besides, she’s SUPPOSED to pay 1/3 of the rent, but it sounds like she isn’t.  There is no problem with there being rules in your house. It’s all about respect for other people, not you being motherly.

Post # 11
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’d just kick her right out, no questions asked.  If she doesn’t leave voluntarily, call the police and they will forcibly remove her.  It is hard, but she has to learn somehow.

Post # 12
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Gosh that must be so hard.  My sister sounds a lot like (actually, probably worse than) your sister.  She is a drug addict, forced her 2 year old child to smoke meth, is pregnant again while still doing meth, gets into very violent fights with my mom (like, punching, scratching, cutting with a knife) as well as strangers.  She even came (from Oregon to California) for my wedding and the first day she was here, she went to walmart and stole a cell phone and some jewelry (which my brother told me about later) and came to my wedding high on meth.   I could go on and on.  I think it is very kind of you to take your sister in and I am so sorry she is being so disrespectful.  I considered letting my sister move in with me once, but I had to dismiss that idea very quickly because she is just too far gone right now.  

If I were you, I would consider telling her that she has 1 week to straighten out her act or she will be out of your house.  And really mean it.  She obviously cannot keep staying with you if she continues to behave this way. 

Post # 14
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My partner’s brother moved in with us (it was originally my partner’s house, and a long story) and was here for about six months. it was HELL. So I know somewhat of what you’re dealing with. He took over the house, and there were so many nights I felt exiled to the bedroom (well, he didn’t force me to go there, but i felt i had no where else to go). I pondered moving out and was actually looking at places. I knew I had to put my foot down when my partner thought about moving out of his own house so he wouldn’t have to deal w/ his own brother. In the end, he felt awful, but he talked it over with their parents and they took him in. 

Post # 15
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Good luck dealing with this! I can’t imagine how frustrated it’s making you (and rightly so!)

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