(Closed) Another waiting rant

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I think that was a cruel comment. I think he is pretty clearly telling you that he does not want to get married although there is no good reason – he just doesn’t feel like it. And he is going to take his own sweet time and propose when he wants to. It might be next year, it might be in 3 years, it might be never. Honestly, his comment makes it sounds like he’s not sure you’re the woman he wants to marry.

Bringing up the issue isn’t going to make him propose sooner – as you’ve experienced, he just brushes off your concerns and moves on with life. Are you going to be happy waiting around for him to decide he’s “ready” (if he ever does)? If not, maybe it’s time to move out to show him you’re not going to wait forever. 

And, yes, he should be excited to marry you and start your lives together. If he isn’t, maybe it’s time to go find someone who is. 

Post # 4
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Aww Im sorry Krissy, that really is frustrating to hear. IMO,there really is no “perfect” time to get engaged, there will always be something that pops up unexpectedly. Sounds like Girlwitharing is giving some sound advice, he sounds super confusing and it might just be that he isnt sure about you or the relationship. Im going on 5 years too so I know that sounds insane but who knows it might be how he feels. Maybe stay at a friends house for a week or so and see what happens? It might really affect him and snap him out of whatever he is going through…doesnt hurt to try right?

Good luck <3

Post # 5
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I have to agree with girlwitharing. It IS a cruel comment.  I hope everything works out for you!

Post # 6
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Awww you poor thing! That comment would have upset me too! I feel your pain – my boy refuses to discuss timelines or any of that anymore – beyond “when it feels right”. Its frustrating but the main thing is to remember to focus on yourself and what makes you happy – spend some more time with your friends, find hobbies outside of him and make yourself happy. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow that was so insensitive of him!  ):<

I am sorry to be negative but I agree with the other comments…it doesn’t seem a proposal is a priority for him at all. After 5 years he should have all the info needed to be sure whether he wants to spend the rest of his life with you…and there are no other excuses, no school, no money trouble…

I would say have a final conversation about what your goals and priorities are as a couple, be firm and calm, and if he still brushes you off decide whether you are OK with letting him basically put you on hold or if you want to leave and look for someone that embraces you fully and enthusiastically.

My vote is for the latter! (: Seriously though, taking a break with no communication might bring this issue into focus. If he misses you and wants to get back together he will realize you are serious. If he does not, well, it’s better to finally figure it out rather then staying together because you are used to it.

Post # 8
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Aw, I’m sorry, that was totally uncalled for. I would seriously consider taking a break as well because you’re right, that’s not how it’s supposed to be. That was cruel.  

As for the twenty year old engagement… I think it’s obvious how I feel about that since I’m 20 and engaged. I think some people forget young couples can have been together for a very long time and be just as dedicated to each other as our older counterparts. It does hurt to hear those comments, but I respect that everyone has a different opinion. 

Post # 9
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

ugh. it seems odd that he wouldn’t realize that you would take something more from it that just the surface level. I know you said you have tried talking about it but this subject may be a good segway into bringing it up again? It’s important for him to know how you feel and also for you to feel like you’re on the same page. Best of luck!

Post # 11
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Stay strong Krissy! I think you are doing the right thing..hope everything works itself out soon!

Post # 12
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Good luck Krissy! I think you are making a good choice, all the best!

Post # 13
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I understand. πŸ™‚ Good luck with your situation, I think you’ve made the right choice at this point. Trust yourself and good luck!

Post # 14
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Good luck with everything! have you tried Mr. Bee’s three step engagement plan?

Post # 15
Member
1339 posts
Bumble bee

Be strong Krissy and I think moving out is 180 percent the correct decision!  Go out and look at some good empowerment books…remember you are the most important thing.   Good luck!  Kiss

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