(Closed) Another waiting vent….

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

Is anyone else thinking what I’m thinking?  That the vacation could be where he proposes?!  That was the first thought that jumped into my head.  Maybe the ring he’s picked out was less than $5k and he’s expecting to spend the rest of that money on a DP (destination proposal, haha)!  I know this doesn’t go along with your wanting to vent, but that’s just the first thought that popped into my mind!

Post # 4
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

The Florida vacation is a good possibility!

Also remember that a man who is trying to surprise a lady is not going to be honest with her. I’m sorry, but guys will lie to keep a secret. I had asked my guy a month ago: “Will we be engaged by August?”

And what did he say?

“Don’t know.”

But then we got into a fight a week ago, and he said he had the ring and is planning on proposing sometime this summer, but he’s been telling me things to throw me off so he can SURPRISE me. I kept ruining it by trying to get as much information as I could!


He might not be completely honest with you at this point if he’s trying to surprise you. I would go with the flow and see what happens! You don’t want to spend all your savings on a trip and then wish you had it when a surprise proposal happens!

I know waiting is hard.


Post # 7
253 posts
Helper bee

*Hugs* I know waiting is extremely hard. My SO said the same thing yours did about I have to trust him and he has a plan so I just need to be patient and not pressure him. Little do they know that it’s hard for us to just sit and wait.

But I agree with the PP’s that perhaps he is going to propose on the trip to Florida. It is a good possibility. But I would just go on and act like you aren’t getting married like you said you would. I’ve just started doing that myself due to having a freak out on my SO. It is so hard but you just have to have confidence in yourself to do it. 

Post # 9
3304 posts
Sugar bee

Yikes- you want to have kids but you won’t have them out of wedlock? Well then you really need to think about what it is you really want because if you never get to have children because he won’t propose, you would end up really resenting him for waiting around.
I hope he does propose when he is ready but I hope that isn’t at your expense. I would start making decisions in the relationship like you are single because a brand new expensive lap top isn’t a “couple” decision.

Post # 11
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Whenever you are focusing on a goal, it’s hard to get there if you don’t reward yourself every so often, whether that’s with dieting or financial planning.  You want to plan in enough rewards that you don’t feel like you’re being on a “diet” and then go blow it.  Saving oodles is great!  Whether retirement or wedding, that money will be nice to have.  But…you need to reward yourself too.  So go enjoy the vacation, but keep on saving (and don’t spend all of it).  In the future, keep on saving for yourself (wedding, real estate, vacation, retirement…) but don’t deny yourself too much as well.  Little rewards.  🙂

I’d also make it clear to him what you’re doing.  “Honey, Sue and Jane are talking about a ladies vacation in Vegas.  I’d love to go, but it’s pricey, about $2000.  I have more than enough saved to cover it because I’ve been pinching my pennies for the last 4 months to save for a wedding.  Before I spend my $2k, I just want to make sure I heard you correctly last night regarding getting married, that you are definitely not considering it in the next X months.  If that’s wrong, please let me know so I don’t spend this money I had saved for the wedding.”

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