- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2017 - Combermere Abbey
I don’t expect to get any real solutions here, I just feel the need to have a mini-rant. And maybe a reminder that patience is a virtue!
I have been dating my SO for nearly 2.5 years. We have lived together for almost all of that time. We started discussing marriage seriously since late last year but it was not until 6 months ago that he really started getting excited and told most of his friends and family about his intention to get engaged. We went ring shopping several months ago, he knows what ring I would like. He has asked my parents for their blessing ages ago. It’s not a question of whether or not he is going to propose, but how long he is going to drag it out until he does!
Last night we went out to dinner with our mutual friends. In conversation he brought up that we are taking a trip to SA after we get hitched, and talking about how much we’ll have to save blah blah. Then our friends kind of look to me for my reaction, because they assumed I wasn’t aware that he’s intending to propose to me (but of course I have been for a long while). One of them goes “have you actually asked peoniesbaby then?”. I had to kind of just shrug it off and say “no he hasn’t”. Then another friend looks at me in this pitiful way and goes “If it were me I would want it to be a surprise.” and another goes “well we all know this is quite literally the worst kept secret right now”.
Now the thing that is bothering me about last night is that I feel like I am not legit allowed to share my excitement about getting engaged, or talk to anyone about it, until he has actually made the moved and asked me! My SO has asked me not to ask about the details, which I don’t want to know anyway because I want it to be a surprise. But I feel like literally all of our friends knows more about what’s going on in our relationship and the proposal than me. Because he is free to share HIS excitement and tell everyone. But this has also been going on for several months now, so it’s becoming stifiling for me. And I know that if I was one of our friends, I would be thinking why is he dragging it out, or that he seems to be all talk and no action. And I can’t help but start to feel this way even though I know it’s coming – EVENTUALLY!
It’s getting to the point where starting to feel apathetic about it all and just wish he would just get on with it already but of course this is not how I want to feel when I get engaged. I want it to be an exciting time but it’s hard to maintain that over a long period.
Thanks for reading.