Post # 1
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
I’m really excited about getting married but I’ve had a real problem with one very wealthy sibling. She is not contributing to the wedding financially yet she continues to give advice where’s it not wanted and not needed. I tried nicely the first 8-10 times to explain that I’m overwhelmed and broke but she just didn’t get the hint. Finally, we came to blows over email and it was really sad. Now we are on the mend but it’s still like being on an emotional tightrope.
So I love all things from Anthropologie. I’m a big nut for their vintage inspired everything. Sadly, I work on straight commission and this new economy has me counting pennies. Our wedding budget is extremely tight and because we live in a major city, things that people take for granted at weddings, we’ve just had to cut outright. Yesterday I received a gift in the mail from my wealthy sister. I know she is trying to be nice but I’m a little insensed that she spent $50 + dollars on something I can’t use for the wedding and that I don’t need. She’s seen the line item spreadsheet of what has to be taken care of and knows that there aren’t funds for necessary items. Now she’s sent me a darling gift that very much fits our theme but that I have no use for. I can’t return it and am just frustrated. Thanks for letting me be a bridezilla. I am truly grateful I’m getting married at the age I am but so burned out on the wedding details/plans/family/drama.
http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=983027&parentid=BAYNOTE’ defer=’defer
Post # 3
Member
4136 posts
Honey bee
you’re mad that she sent you a gift?
Post # 4
Member
5495 posts
Bee Keeper
I would just enjoy the cute little towels. Maybe she was just trying to cheer you up, even if she can’t/won’t contribute to the wedding.
Post # 5
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
I think those are ADORABLE. Whether you can use them in the wedding or not.
Post # 6
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
i guess i don’t understand the extent of the background story. But, those towels are cute! It doesn’t seem like she meant to send them just for the wedding or to be spiteful.
Post # 7
Member
6391 posts
Bee Keeper
Those seem more like a wedding present than a present for use in the wedding. She was probably just trying to be nice and give you something that you wouldn’t have bought for yourself.
Post # 8
Member
2870 posts
Sugar bee
I love the towels. and honestly I think you are being *gasp* a bit emotional right now. I know its the stresses of money and planning a wedding but you shouldnt be angry about how someone else spends their money, especially when they are spending it on a gift for you.
Just enjoy the gift for what it is….something awesome from anthropology that your sister knew you would never buy for yourself because of money constraints.
Post # 9
Member
2467 posts
Buzzing bee
i actually saw those at the store last weekend, and wished i knew someone having a wedding shower soon because they seemed like such a sweet gift! even if you can’t use them for the wedding, you can still use them at home, can’t you? i always need more dish towels…
Post # 10
Member
4499 posts
Honey bee
Is it normal for a sibling to contribute financially to a wedding? I wouldn’t expect it, no matter how wealthy she is…it just crosses all sorts of boundaries. Especially since you’ve told her that you don’t want her giving unwelcome advice!
Love the towels, btw. 🙂
Post # 11
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
I am so confused. Was she supposed to buy you decorations or something? Those towels are cute!
Post # 12
Member
1557 posts
Bumble bee
I’m sorry that you’re upset with your sister, but just be thankful for the gift. I have seen these many, many times, and I am secretly hoping to receive them as a wedding present.
They may not be useful to your wedding, but they ARE useful. They’re dishtowels. Hang them in your home after you get married and be happy that your slster loves you and thought of you.
Post # 13
Member
10355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I think that she knows things are so tight with the wedding that she wanted to buy you something fun for yourself since she knew you couldn’t do it right now.
She’s trying to be really nice. You have a life and needs outside of your wedding. This is her acknowledging that.
Post # 14
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
I agree with the other bees. I guess there is more behind this than the thread shows. I think I would take it as a peace offering from your big fight. Plus it is sweet…. I have a friend who bought me a necklace with our wedding date on it and a little gem that was the october birthstone (october wedding). I cant wear it in the wedding, and it wont be useful towards my budget but it is sweet and thoughtful. Much like the towels.
Is there any reason for you to think she would help you pay for the wedding other than the fact that she is wealthy? I only ask because I also have a wealthy sibling but it never crossed my mind that she would help pay for my wedding. Is this something your family does?
Post # 15
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
Hi bees -sorry for the long rant. And yes, I may come off as a bridezilla. When you’re really broke and someone really rich gives you something you can’t use, it’s frustrating. Our family takes major pride in being frugal with money so throwing $50 at tea towels just seems ridiculous to me. I’m grateful for my sibling, I love her to pieces but I’d like her to come down to earth and get into reality. All of us worked in the flower business previously and we are doing the flowers together. There have been a gazillion emails back and forth about how tight it’s going to be to pull off a functioning wedding. The gift feels like she’s throwing away money.
And yeah, I’m emotional -that’s why I posted this in the emotion column 🙂
Post # 16
Member
5887 posts
Bee Keeper
@sfchick: your sister is under no financial obligation to help with YOUR wedding. i think it is lovely that she gave you a little gift from a store you love after your spat. i think you need to cut her some slack. after all, her financial situation is not anyone’s business but her own, and it sounds like she is already contributing effort to your wedding (helping with the flowers). can’t ask for much more than that. i would be thrilled if my sister were that excited for my wedding!