- 10 years ago
- Wedding: March 2009
Good lord, they’re just towels.
Good lord, they’re just towels.
Hey everybody – I came here because this is a community and I guess I wasn’t very articulate. You all have great things to say but be careful in how you say it. I guess that’s my own learning lesson right now.
I’m not asking my sister for money. I’m trying to pay for the wedding with limited income. I’m earning 50 cents on the dollar and I find it absurd to spend $42 on tea towels. If you could imagine having a sibling who was as wealthy as a movie star -say more than 50 million and you had another sibling who couldn’t afford to come to the wedding – I think you’d want that wealthy sibling to help the poor one get to the wedding. That’s why the costly towels seem silly to me, that’s all. She saw the line item budget of all the stuff I am working on and she gave me a beautiful gift that I don’t need and don’t want. So yes, I’m bridezilla today. Peace out bees.
I think its nice that your sister made the effort to get you a gift, especially from a store that you like. Don’t be so overwhelmed by wedding planning, not every item you get should go towards the wedding. Just because she saw your line item sheet doesn’t mean she can’t get you a gift. You should appreciate the gift and if you really can’t use it, send it back to her instead of shadily selling it online. You can’t hold a grudge against your sister for doing something nice, if she is more financially able.
However, I do understand clearing space in an apartment. If I were your sister, I’d at least like the option of taking the towels back because maybe she would offer up something you can use in its place, even for your wedding.
Sooo… since you’re so hard up for space that you will have to sell the tea towels to free up the space they’d take up, and you don’t appreciate people “blowing money” on you if they’re not contributing to your wedding, I’m going to assume you’re requesting that your guests do not give you gifts for your wedding?
Sometimes it frustrating but what someone else wants to do with their money is their business… I used to have a friend that would chide me (on more than one occasion) for getting pedicures once a week and would tell me she could eat for a week off of what I spent on my toes.
Talking over your wedding finances with someone does not mean they are obligated to help you out.
Sorry, but I’d be pretty sad & offended if you returned/sold a gift from me as well 🙁
When it comes to presents, I love receiving something nice that I couldn’t or wouldn’t purchase for myself. I think of it as a nice treat. I wouldn’t expect anything anway so to get something “extra” why not have it be something decorative instead of functional? You sister is very sweet to buy you a gift- I don’t receive or give anything to my sisters at any time other than regular gift giving evets.
If the towels still have tags, you can probably take them back to Anthro for a credit/cash.
The others have already given you good perspectives, but I’ll also add this little story. My friend was laid off earlier this year. She is financially strugling. I gave her a grocery gift card for Christmas because it was practical and useful given the situation. I also gave her a set of expensive hair products from a company she loves. Does she need fancy curl defining pudding right now? No. But she loved it, she actually teared up. She said it helped her feel “normal” and not defined by her unemployment.
Sometimes, people are just trying to give you a treat.
It seems like she was trying to give you a little luxury – something that she knew you’d like but wouldn’t ever buy for yourself. Given the shaky ground on which your relationship currently stands, I would feel like it was a rejection of a peace offering if you sold it. Accept it graciously, since it puts you in no tighter of a financial spot than you found yourself before.
Return it for store credit and use it for a top for the rehearsal dinner.
I’m sure once the wedding is over and the stress of planning it has resolved you’ll be able to take a step back and realize how ungreatful this post sounds. That’s a really sweet and lovely gift you received. I wouldn’t ever expect a sibling to pay for any part of my wedding.
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