(Closed) Anthropologie gift from my sister

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I, too, would be offended if somebody sold a gift I chose for them. 

Post # 48
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

sigh.  maybe I’m in the minority here, but can no one see that the gift actually hurt the OP?  Maybe it was passive-aggressive of her sister, as she suggests.  I mean, the couple’s having such a hard time paying for their wedding (not saying that sis should contribute) but then she comes along and spends money on something unwedding-y right now that the couple dearly, sorely wished they had to put towards their once-in-a-lifetime celebration.

If the sister is helping out with flowers in some way and/or the two had just had a convo about flowers, couldn’t big sis have chosen a fabulous vintage (maybe tin or depression glass or vintage crystal, whatever) vase for the flowers that could have gone at the head table or escort card table or desert table or bar or bathroom even (that didn’t have to match the other centerpieces) — and sent that to her sister right now? Or…. on the topic of flowers, could she have offered to supply the bridesmaids/flower girl bouquets/single stems (whatev); just tell her the colors?  This would have been soooo much more appreciated at a time when the couple can only think wedding, wedding, wedding.  Am I alone here?

Post # 50
Member
2312 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

View original reply
@JoeBeth12:

I think you and the OP stand alone on this one. The gift was cute, and I thought it was nice of her sister to get her a gift from the OP’s favorite store. I kind of think saying, “A gift hurt me,” is a little ludicrous. 

Post # 51
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

The towels are so cute!  Perfect engagement gift!  I would love them!

I agree with the majority here.  Could your sister have offered to pay for something for the wedding?  Maybe.  But she is not obligated to.  If you want to sell the gift then do that.  But I would be hurt.  Especially since it seems like a well thought out gift from your favorite store to celebrate your upcoming wedding. 

How do you know she doesn’t intend to help you? 

If you didn’t want opinions, What was the purpose of the original post?  Is it to vent?  Get agreement?  No, the majority of us do not agree with you.  It comes off as unappreciative on your part regardless of your reasons.

When I got engaged, a cousin of mine sent me a care package with all kinds of wedding planning stuff in it.  How rude would it have been for me to say, I can do it all on the internet, you should have sent me something I could USE instead?! I was so touched by the gesture, whether or not I will use everything she sent me.

Post # 53
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Maybe she’s still planning on helping with the flowers in a big sort of way and the towels are completely unrelated to the wedding.  You’re emotionally involved, obvs, but I don’t think they are anything but a “hey I thought of you when I saw these” gesture.  Not everything is about the wedding.

Post # 54
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hi bees! Hey listen — I’d roll over here rather than be isolated on the hive (not fun), but I really do stand by my opinion.  Right now — everything IS about the wedding for sfchick and who better to know and understand that than a sister she’s in touch with fully about the plans, even to the point of having shared a spreadsheet with her?! C’mon ladies.  Let’s cut sfchick a break here.  It’s up to the cousins thrice removed and aunties she hasn’t seen in 20 years to buy her gifts she can’t use right now; it’s up to her sis to be truly sensitive to her needs and if she’s going to spend $50+ on her sibling at this moment in time… well, ya’ll know where I stand so I’m just beating a dead horse.  But no one knows her sister better than sfchick here, and her sense that there was something show off-y about the gift at this point I suspect is right on.

Post # 55
Member
5887 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

same IP address perhaps? lol

Post # 56
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@NJmeetsBX: If I’m not mistaken the OP is in the emotional section and she stated that she needed to vent.

Although none of us can know the intentions of your sister’s gift (which might have been all well and good), I can speak from experience of receiving gifts from passive aggressive people, especially after some sort of disagreement which I thought was resolved, but they’re still holding a grudge of some sort.  In their mind it makes them think they’re in the right and you’re wrong. 

Anyway, not to overanalyze, but maybe there’s a hint of that going on here….

I also can empathize with poorly timed gifts (i.e. getting cutesy stuff for college graduation when I’m barely making ends meet. I’m thinking “Thanks for the gifts and all, but could have used simple stuff like silverware and measuring cups”).  It might seem rude and inappreciative to some, but it’s an honest and legitamite feeling to have!

Post # 57
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

What is an IP address? I literally have no idea – I’m laughing at myself now but it sounds snarky to me nevertheless.  I hope not.  A woman’s entitled to her opinion, no?

Post # 58
Member
5887 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

View original reply
@JoeBeth12: we’ve had some trolling issues on the site lately with a bunch of drama-inducing threads started for the sole purpose of riling people up, so we are all a bit cautious of this right now…

Post # 59
Member
2560 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

View original reply
@Mrs. Meowerson: I second this. You should rethink the decision to sell the towels on ebay. She bought you a gift, after you had a fight, to make amends, and if you sell it and she finds out that will be a major slap in the face. 

Post # 60
Member
5887 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

View original reply
@JoeBeth12: “a woman’s entitled to her opinion, no?”

 

exactly.

Post # 61
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Don’t worry ladies, we are watching for trolls.  And no, Resident Troll is not on this thread.

Please keep the discourse civil, thank you!

The topic ‘Anthropologie gift from my sister’ is closed to new replies.

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