- 7 years ago
- Wedding: March 2011
Hi all, long time no “see”! As you may or may not recall, I had some serious family issues last time I was here, mainly with my mom.
Well it seems she has completely “come around” and has every intention of attending the wedding.
The issue is, she cares for my grandma, who is 91 and has Alzheimer’s dementia. She is supposed to share in this care with her brother, my uncle, but he doesn’t do his part and it’s always like pulling teeth for her to get him to come and do his share of the caregiving.
You see, he and his wife have an RV, are retired, and travel around the country visiting their children and grandchildren, from Lousiana to California to Maine, and then they spend time in various national parks volunteering (which earns them free stays)…
All fine and good for them if they still help with my Grandma, but in reality most of the care falls on my mom.
Now, I sent out Save-The-Date Cards back in November because our wedding is going to be in Iowa and we are in Texas and almost everyone will need to travel.
My Aunt and Uncle got an STD from me even though I know they are unlikely to attend; they are Mormon and opposed to same sex marriage, but my Aunt has a lesbian daughter and she’d always been pretty supportive regardless so we thought maybe they’d show up.. could happen.
Now we’re about 2 months out and my uncle has made it clear (to my mom) that they are NOT coming. Fine, whatever, but he has also announced their plans to be in the california mountains at the time of our wedding, leaving my mom to figure out what to do with my Grandmother.
My Aunt is “concerned” that my mom will try and bring my grandma to Iowa from texas and that she’s too fragile to travel all that way… but doesn’t offer any solution!
My uncle said to my mom “Well I didn’t know you were actually planning on GOING to the wedding?” Like it was an absurd idea!! Of course this is the same man that failed to go visit his new grandchild because the baby is adopted.
And his solution to her was that she just hire someone to come to the house and care for my Grandma for 3 to 5 days, which is NOT cheap. She needs 24 hour care, bathing, meds, and constant reminders to eat, drink water, constant watching so she doesn’t try to get up and walk around (and then fall)…
He also told her that *I* knew about their California plans and that i KNEW they’d be gone all the way through April, which is not true. Last I heard they were going to California in January “and into March”, and I asked them specifically when in March and couldn’t get a specific date from either my Aunt or my Uncle. Besides, my wedding plans have been set for much longer anyway!
Of course, they are not offering to pay for the sitter.
My mom said she’ll figure it out regardless but the whole attitude that it isn’t important is what’s making me mad. I think they should take her along or come back for that week (at least my Uncle, it’s HIS mother!).
It’s just ridiculous. It’s not like I’ve had several weddings before! I was married once, in 1996, in a courthouse, with just my mom, my then 4 year old son, and my brother in attendance. I don’t do this every year!!