(Closed) Anxiety

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I made lists and downloaded an app to help me focus (I like Wedding Wire’s checklist and budget manager). 

I communicate a lot to my Fiance about timelines and budget too so I don’t feel like I’m doing it alone. 

it sounds cliche but focus on one thing at a time, check it off the list, and move on to the next. 

i also try to remember a wedding is a PARTY. It helps me relax a bit. 🙂

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by  partyof2.
Post # 3
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

View original reply
irishgirl2017:  The good thing about having a long engagement is lots of time to plan.  That’s also the bad thing!  Lots of time for planning & anxiety!

I used the wedding wire checklist as well, adjusted for my timeline, and when I didn’t have anything else to do on it, I stopped planning major pieces until the next month. Sure, I looked at flowers and stuff, but I didn’t make decisions, etc.  My Fiance and I are also have non-wedding weekends where there is no wedding talk (same with my friends who are also planning their own weddings).  Once I decided on things (ie dress) I stopped looking at others.  So far that has worked for the first 9 months of planning. I have a little over 4 to go, and I’m using a similar tactic by week instead of by month so I don’t fall behind.

I also picked a couple things that had to be perfect (dress, happy bridesmaids, food, great ceremony music) and am leaving the rest to the expertise of my vendors (decor, flowers, hair/makeup, reception music, etc).  They have the basic idea of what I’d like, the rest is in their hands.   If I tried to make everything perfect, I’d go crazy. I’m just focusing on the few things that really matter (outside of my Fiance, of course). I call it the 80/20 rule – 80% will be great, 20% will be whatever it is… and to try not to let it overshadow the 80% 

There are of course things that can’t be controlled, like family behavior…. I can ask family to “Please don’t get drunk and curl into a ball on the middle of the dance floor”, but who knows what will happen.  That’s on them, and I refuse to let that ruin our day. 

If you find yourself overwhelmed, think of that party song that you know will get everyone going on the dance floor, picture people having fun!  Field of dreams style, if you build it, they will come!  Then picture your Fiance in a nice suit…. then go grab your Fiance and bring him into the bedroom 😉

Post # 4
Member
1386 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I have anxiety, but I found during the wedding it didn’t roar it’s ugly head as often. Also, we had a shorter engagement. With too much time on my hands I tend to overthink and change things – worry about how they are or how they look. I do better with less time. We had a seven month engagement and for me it was perfect – I really enjoyed planning. 

The Wedding Wire checklist was very helpful.

I also created a private board on Pinterest to “see” how things went together – my colors, centerpieces, dress, etc. I found that helped with a lot of worry about if everything went together or looked nice. 

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