(Closed) Anxiety

posted 6 years ago in Wellness
  • poll: I should...
    Be more supportive... : (20 votes)
    67 %
    Put your hard ass hat on... : (1 votes)
    3 %
    keep doing what you are doing : (7 votes)
    23 %
    Other (please explain) : (2 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 6
    Member
    4478 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I understand you’re frustrated, but I think it’s a bit insensitive to tell him to just suck it up.  I’ve had friends with IBS, I’ve had periods of my life with stomach issues, and it’s really awful.  IBS especially, I’ve had friends go to the ER for.  Serious stomach issues are not the same as a cold, you’re comparing apples to oranges.  Hopefully the appointments will sort things out.

     

    I am so sorry for all the things you’re going through right now.  That would make anyone feel like they’re at the end of their rope.  I only had to deal with half the things on your list this year, and I had a lot of trouble dealing with it.  I don’t know what to tell you, but there’s nothing wrong with how you’re feeling right now.  You’ve got a lot going on, and it’s more than most people can handle.  Things will pass.  You’ll be able to get through it.  Once they pass, life will be better, and you’ll be able to take care of yourself.  In the meantime, maybe just devote 15 minutes a day to something that gives you a sense of peace?  Maybe a walk, bath, meditation, hypnosis, yoga dvd, something like that?

    Post # 8
    Member
    1828 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m so sorry to hear all of this, you really are going through a lot. I couldn’t imagine how tough all that must be.

    It’s very easy to go ahead and say “be more supportive”, but I can imagine how hard that must be. I understand how you feel, as I don’t have a lot of patience and I would be very worried about your husband’s job, and of course his mental and physical health.

    Honestly, I think it would be good if you could take some time and see a therapist. You’re already seeking out advice on weddingbee, which means you want to and feel the need to talk about these issues, and a liscensed therapist will certainly know how to lead you in the right direction.

    I wish you the best! Stay strong.

    Post # 10
    Member
    691 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    As someone with stomach issues AND generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), I feel the need to comment 🙂

    I totally understand that it can be overwhelming for the SO of someone with anxiety OR stomach issues to deal with it. However, if you truly believe that it’s anxiety that’s causing a lot of the issues with him, telling him to “man up” and not to think about it isn’t the greatest thing. It can cause resentment and embarassment. The thoughts that come along with GAD aren’t necessarily something I want to think about – i.e. my Darling Husband dying – but they occupy my mind at times. I CAN help how I handle them, but not if they pop into my head.

    My suggestion would be to sit down with him and tell him that you want to be supportive, but you’re not sure how. I have truly found comfort in therapy to teach me how to handle things, since life keeps happening whether or not you’re ready for it. He may not be open to it, but it may be a great thing for him if it’s really anxiety that’s causing issues. It could be a great help for you too! 🙂 Good luck!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2815 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Wow, you are under an extreme amount of stress right now.  Please go to the doctor to see if s/he can refer you to a therapist and perhaps prescribe something for the short term (if you don’t mind taking meds).  I hope things get better for you. It’s really hard to deal with even minor things when you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.  Big hugs for you hun!

    Post # 12
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    It’s all going to be okay.

    I am sure your fiance knows that you are going through a lot but he might not realize that him talking about his stomach stuff is causing you more stress. Perhaps let him know of this while being supportive. “I will go to the doctor with you so that we can remember to ask all the questions, for tonight though, why don’t we just relax and not worry about it.”

    My Fiance and I are Gluten Free so that might be an option. On the plus side if you both decide to go gluten free it is a great weight-loss tool. No bread, pasta, cereal etc. I gained weight only because I had been so sick before from eating gluten.

    Just remember that your fiance is your partner and what affects you affects him and vice versa. You guys are in this together and that is a comforting thought.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I second the suggestion of going gluten free. If you want an explanation of why this might help, read Wheat Belly. I know it sounds extreme, but gluten has been linked to digestive issues AND anxiety. What’s the harm in trying?

    Post # 14
    Member
    2320 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Ah, sweet girl, I’m very sorry that you’re going through all of this stuff right now!

    I really don’t have any advice other than to keep the lines of communication open with your Darling Husband. I know I’ve gone through periods where DH’s actions have frustrated and me and I’ve just wanted to smack him around until he got his head on straight. In the end, talking to him helped a lot. I encourage you to share your frustrations with him, maybe it will take a little bit of weight off your shoulders.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2651 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    You said your in grad school… Free Counciling!  If olny to talk to someone.it helps.

    Has your Darling Husband been to the Doctors?  I would say be supportive untill his tests are back. If he’s  AOK  then its time to put the hard-ass hat on.  Till then, Talk with him about how you are feeling, and see if he could try and go to work a few hours  early and then leave early. most employers are more understanding if you are there on time, but have to leave if you are ill/ something is wrong with you.

     

    good luck dear

    Post # 16
    Member
    1446 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I have GAD and it’s pretty horrible. I also have lupus, so it’s hard to say if lupus has caused the GAD or if I’m just that unlucky. Either way, you are going through an incredible amount of stress yourself and I can’t imagine what it must be like to be in your shoes right now. All I can say is try to stay patient with Darling Husband, he is probably very sick and scared right now and probably needs all the support he can get. Anxiety can do some awful stuff to your body, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some other reason behind his illness. Don’t lose faith in him though!

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