(Closed) Anxiety about asking my bridesmaids…

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
318 posts
Helper bee

I have very bad anxiety.

I took a deep breath and asked.   All were very excited and happy.  

 

Post # 3
Member
3146 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

In your situation, I would just have uneven sides. You can have 3 and he can have 5. That’s totally ok ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 4
Member
224 posts
Helper bee

I wasn’t expecting a friend of mine to ask me. We were friends in college and lived together but she spent so much time with her BF (now husband) that we didn’t spend much time together. I was flattered though and ended up having a great time being her bridesmaid. It brought us much closer together and I asked her to be mine in my upcoming wedding. 

One of my bridesmaids is a good college friend of mine. She moved to a different state so I only see her a few times a year. I wasn’t in her wedding last year but I asked her to be in mine. I’m honestly not sure if she was suprised or not, I sent her a little package in the mail to ask since I don’t see her much. She said yes and seems really excited.

Post # 5
Member
556 posts
Busy bee

Even if they are surprised, it’ll be a lovely surprise. They will be really flattered. I got asked by one of my home friends, and I was only one who was asked in our particular group. All the other girls in our group said to me ‘I am surprised she asked you. I don’t mean that nastily’….I too was surprised. Not that we aren’t good friends, just I wouldn’t have considered I was one of her best friends. I was so flattered and it made me feel special ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
3146 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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paigerino :  then I agree with PP, take a deep breath and just ask ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee

I would deal with your anxiety more on the demand side if this concerns you. Go for mismatched dresses. Pick a color that’s easy across skin tones. Etc. 

If they’re actually friends then it won’t be weird. I will say tho that though I haven’t been asked by someone who I was surprised by, I have friends who have and they say it is sorta weird and less of an honor when someone you view as a friendly acquaintance asks you. 

Post # 10
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

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paigerino :  Sorry this is long, but I can relate!! I was very anxious to ask my bridesmaids! I’ve always been the type of person that goes through anxiety phases where I think no one likes me, it’s a false idea that anxiety creates. I put A LOT of thought into who I was going to ask to be in my bridal party, I got engaged Sept 2014 but due to being in college we didn’t start planning until Dec 2016 when we were finanically stable. When we began planning I started looking at my friendships under a microscope. I took Dec 2016-March 2017 to reallyyyy think about who I wanted to ask, and then I asked in April. I asked them by giving them “will you be my bridesmaid” candles because I knew I’d be nervous and scared they’ll say no so I wanted them to read the question rather than me say anything. My Maid/Matron of Honor is a friend I made through my fiance because her long term boyfriend is like a brother to my fiance. I’ve known her for 7 years and each year our friendship started to grow stronger, I really started to see her as a sisterly figure. We’d celebrate holidays together and really started treating us like family so I knew she’d be the perfect Maid/Matron of Honor because she’ll be like an aunt to our some day kids. I was nervous about asking her because I didn’t know if she knew how strongly I felt about her friendship, especially since she told my fiance she was nervous I wasn’t going to ask her to be in the bridal party. I think she was surprised at her role, but I could tell when she said yes that she was truly happy. I also decided to ask a newer friend to be a bridesmaid, we had only been friends for a year but she was the type of friend where it feels like you knew eachother forever. I was nervous she’d feel that we haven’t been friends long enough and that she’d say no, but she was SOOOO excited when I asked her and I can tell she’s still really happy to have been asked. The other girls I asked I think they knew for years that they’d be bridesmaids, but I still felt nervous. 

In the end everyone I asked said yes, and they’ve been such amazing friends to me since I’ve asked. I can honestly say I’ve never felt so supported in my entire life. I can’t believe I’ve spent so much time in the past being so insecure about my relationships with people. I’m also glad that I really took the time to think because there were some girls I was considering that as I thought about it they really don’t put any effort into our friendship and they haven’t really been there for me like the other girls have. I’m also glad I asked my Fiance’s sister because she’s great, and I’m really building a great friendship with her. 

Overall, anxiety creates nervousness that you don’t need to have. Don’t be afraid, you’d be surprised that even if they aren’t expecting it, it might mean the world to them and everything will work out better than you ever thought it would. 

Post # 11
Member
224 posts
Helper bee

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paigerino :  I didn’t feel burdened at all. I was planning on attending her wedding anyways, the only thing I had to do was buy a dress and pay to get my make up done (option not required). No problem at all. Her Mom and sister threw her shower. I did do most of the planning and prepping for her Bachelorette party but all of the attendees chipped in and I had a blast that weekend. Weddings and the events leading up to them are fun.

Post # 13
Member
499 posts
Helper bee

I’ve got my best friend of 10 years, my Future Sister-In-Law, and a friend of 2 years. When I asked/told my more recent friend she got teary eyed and massively happy. Just deep breath and ask, it’ll likely be awesome.  

Post # 14
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

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paigerino :  I’m so glad I could help!! I’m sure they’ll be excited! The friend of only a year that I asked was jumping and screaming when I asked her ๐Ÿ˜€ It made me feel so happy! Good Luck ๐Ÿ™‚

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