(Closed) Anxiety about FI's career…

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Can I ask what industry he is in?

Post # 5
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@tinyteapot:  Have to talked to him about his recent change back into old ways? I would sit him down and remind him of his promise and be very open about that fact that you are concerned and don’t see him providing the security you really need in the future. Having so many jobs lasting only 1 year will make him very hard to employ if he continues on this pattern. Why would I take the time to train someone who is going to leave soon anyway?

You need to voice your concerns asap.

Post # 7
Member
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Everdeen:  +1. A pattern of leaving one job after name other looks bad on any resume. Employers like to see that a potential new hire is capable of sticking it out longer than a year or even two or three years. This could be a major problem down the line and I think you should definitely address it again with him. 

Post # 9
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@tinyteapot:  This isn’t great, but perhaps it’s a start:

“FI, I do not mean to leacture you but I am getting concerned that you are falling into old habits again with your job. You are making me nervous and anouise. You were going so well before we got engaged and I was so happy (and so were you!), what changed? Back then we both agreed that it would be best for you to stick out a job for a number of years. Do you still agree that that is best?”

Perhaps bring up children (if you want them) and how he really needs to have moved up the ladder before they come along (in 5 years or whatever). If he starts at a new company he’s behind again. 

Or perhaps have a “career planning evening” where you both sit down and plan what you want to do when, who you have to talk to, what events you’d like to attend etc. This might get things rolling and out into the open because he doesn’t feel like it’s all about him?

I’m not really sure, just spit-balling.

Post # 10
Member
2098 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

 The longest I stayed with a company was 6 years and I had 3 positions in the company. Granted, I did move from each one totally appropriately but once I get something it’s hard for me to stay in it. Once I get it, I get bored. I have to be challenged.

I don’t mind hard work or earing my way…not at all. I tend to see work in a larger scheme than most people…in that, I don’t feel we are meant to work in boxes, doing work for others, like drones. And yes, I get we have bills and lives to live. But a switch goes off in me. I have tried hanging in there, tried filling my private life with fun and excitement, but when you are somewhere 8 hours a day and you are bored, it’s hell. For me anyway…

Could he be like me?

What’s the solution? Having him do some deep work within himself (therapy maybe) to figure out what he really, really wants to do that makes money. I realized I needed to go back to school and finish my degree to do what I want. I need creativity. You say he’s in marketing…that’s creative. I can tell you first hand that most creative types meet a fierce enemy in day in, day out schedules.

I am currently unemployed and I have so much guilt about it. Fiance and I decided together I needed to quit my last job (not the 6 year place…just at this place about 9 months) because I was treated very poorly and they never paid me what they said I would earn. But in the meantime, I have to find something. I’m thinking temp work until I go to school or something like that.

Could your Fiance do freelance work? Could he do stuff on the side that he finds interesting while he’s at the other job? If I go after something myself, I tend to hang on to it.

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