(Closed) Anxiety about planning future?

posted 6 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 2
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

That’s not normal. Do you normally suffer from anxiety? If so, the stress of an impending major life event could definitely increase it. It’s perfectly normal to feel anxious or worried prior to getting married but to this degree is unhealthy. Is everything okay with you and your fiance? Have you been getting along lately? Do you worry that you are unable to communicate effectively? Are you anxious about marrying this particular person or is it just general anxiety about the future?

If you can, I would really suggest seeing someone. You deserve to have peace of mind and therapy can and should equip you with the necessary tools to be able to deal with this kind of thing, not just now but also in the future.

Post # 3
Member
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
mariya13:  I cant totally relate! I have been in a logn-distance relationship for 3 years so far, and we began long-distance with no clear end in sight (I was applying to grad school, he was pursuing his PhD, which doesn’t have a set end-date, its all about the research). In those three years, I moved 1500 km away to Norther Quebec for an incredible work opportunity (he lives in Montreal). Now, I live in Thunder Bay (2000 km away, close to Minnesota if you’re American). he is finishing his PhD and I am finishing school, so at the end of this year we will be ending this treacherous journey. However, we have NO IDEA where we are going to live next year, it is all dependent on employment. He is applying everywhere, from Toronto (my hometown) to New Zealand. I have been really cool about the whole “not knowing where we are going to live” thing, but everything is so up in the air, it can be incredibly difficult to keep it together. Repeating “one step at a time” is super helpful for me, as is remembering why its worth sticking it out.  

 

What I am trying to say is that Long-distance just exasterbates the situation, so that can be contributing. It is much different to have these feelings when you can be re-assured by a hug or sitting down, face-to-face, and talking. I find there is less mis-understanding in person, and body language is a large part of communication. Maybe wait to be in person to talk about all of this? If that helps. Long-distance can give you jitters, and I can’t imagine what it’s like to plan a wedding apart. It’s almost like you are panning a wedding to marry a 2-D guy on your computer screen, so I can imagine how hard that must be. I commend you for how well you are doing overall. It’s not easy, and I would probably feel similar too. I would say its the Long-distance, in all honestly. 

 

I hope things are better now. I wish you and your fiance all the best. Long-distance is tough, and the first 6 months are trying because it is an adjustment. 

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