- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Hi guys!!! Regular wedding poster here….but just thought of something I’ve been meaning to post about..
I’m 26 years old, will be 27 when we marry. My fiance will be 29. I’ve always wanted to be a young mother, I never had issues before with pregnancy and anxiety until it’s becoming more real that I will be a mother some day soon.
Fiance and I talk about kids all the time, he is amazing with kids, it’s something i’ve always wanted! We don’t really have a “plan” though fiance would like to wait until about a year after we’re married…for good reason.
We have never lived together, and will be purchasing our first home just before marriage. We both have stable jobs with pretty good income for people our age. Both of our careers me, Engineering Assistant (mostly for utilities) and fiance as an Auto CAD designer.
If we are blessed sooner than expected, it wouldn’t be the end of the world! I’d like to have one or two before 30.
Anyway! Here is the issue…..
I have always had anxiety issues….since I was about 15 years old. I’m pretty much used to it, and it doesn’t effect my daily routine, though in my teenage years it caused me to be home schooled for 11th grade due to lack of sleep.
I can be fine for a few months or even a year, without having a full blown panic attack (because i’m a hypocondriac and also always have that fear of dying, going to the doctors (wondering if they’ll find something wrong gives me panic attacks or raise my blood pressure even when i’m healthy). Other times, I can have multiple attacks in one week, although not as common anymore and if they do occur, I’m able to control them.
There isn’t a day that I don’t think about some health issue I could get one day…or about dying one day (so morbid).
I am soooo scared to be pregnant but I can’t wait at the same time! I’m sure it’s normal, but to what extent is it too much worrying? I don’t want to stress out my baby and cause more harm than good.
Pre-eclampsia worries me, because I had a few high blood pressure readings in the past, but was told they were anxiety related..it would go really high, and then would go back down once I was calm. I haven’t had a high reading, actually i’m average 114/74 so it’s pretty perfect… and it’s been that way for months now (not as stressed)
Pre-Post Partum Cardiomyopathy I had read an article on this happening to a young mom, early 30’s…I have PVC’s and SVT… so heart issues worry me! This sounds like something I can’t control, so it scares me even more.
Not having enough oxygen or energy to push during labor, why do people wear oxygen masks during the birthing process?!!
Being short of breath or not being able to breathe well enough because of certain positions of the baby.
There’s a ton more i’m sure my mind would come up with if time allowed…but this is just a snipett of how my mind works!
I try to tell myself that you cannot control everything, and some things you just let it go. 2 years ago if I was pregnant I wouldn’t feel this way…this is kind of new thinking for me…and I HATE it! I want to enjoy pregnancy because it’s been a dream of ours for a long time.
Help! Anyone have similar issues? I still have about 2 years or so to get my normal mentality back!