(Closed) Anxiety about the day?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I am really sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I can totally sympathize with the way you feel. I used to have horrible social anxiety…couldn’t go out anywhere by myself, really froze at meeting new people, would lie about why I couldn’t attend parties etc. Over the years I have learned to work myself thru these anxiety’s. 

I don’t know if it will work for you but what I have found for a long time is that if I can just go in and fake it for a little while then the real anxiety starts to fade and it starts to become natural. I start to enjoy myself with out even realizing it. I know this seems simple but it really does work. You start to forget that you were even afraid to begin with. 

This probably isn’t much help but at least you know there are others of us out there that are feeling the same way.

I hope you find some peace before the big day.

JENN

Post # 5
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m an anxious person by nature, but I think with you it might affect your wedding day.  Do you usually have anxiety about social situations (public speaking, parties)? I think you should speak to your physician or even a counselor… I think they can definitely help you withyor anxiety.

Don’t worry… you’ll get through this!

Post # 7
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Terrified. 

Utterly terrified. 

I’m scared about walking down the aisle, I’m scared my voice won’t work when saying my vows, scared of the first dance… I have so much anxiety already for this day… 

I just don’t do well in front of large crowds. You’re not alone!!! 

Post # 8
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

So sorry to hear you’re having a tough time with anxiety… I can totally relate, I’ve been there  many times at various determining points in my life. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when such an important event is just around the corner…

So, my best advice would be: DEFINITELY tap on to those resources! Talk to anyone you feel will be able to empathize with what you’re going through, maybe they can help you with some of the details that may be demanding your attention right now. And focus on what’s most important to you, and most important, on your well being!

And I agree with sunnyprincess, if you feel like this “big wedding” situation may be too much, talk to a physician or psychologist, there are some extremely efficient “emergency” meds that may be of help during these last weeks.

Best of luck! And please let us know how it goes!

Post # 9
Member
13 posts
Newbee

Sorry to hear about your anxiety.  I was the exact same way… for WEEKS before my wedding!  I was a total anti-bride and got crankier and crankier as the wedding approached.  My husband and I got married a few weeks ago (Sept. 5th), and I can now say I LOVED MY WEDDING!  I don’t know what I was so anxious about.  I was anxious about all the little details during the planning process, but on the day of there’s just so much going on, and all the people you love there for me, that I found I was way too distracted to worry or notice the details.  And somehow it all just comes together.  My anxiety peaked right before I walked down the aisle – I started trembling and had to work hard to breath, but once I got to the end of the aisle and got all the tears out, it was smooth sailing from there.  I know you probably have loads of people telling you to stop worrying.  I won’t tell you that because I know from experience that it’s impossible not to worry.  But I hope you take comfort in knowing my story, that despite the worry and anxiety it is possible to have the most fabulous worry-free day every.  Best of luck!

Post # 10
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Jocelyn, I am totally with you. I am anxious about everything going off without a hitch, without mistakes, without me forgetting to order/do/say something (etc.). I was in theater when I was younger and even THAT didn’t make me as nervous as this does. Don’t worry, even if we DO mess up something on our special days, people won’t care (it’s our weddings and even if they do care, they should just smile and nod!). 🙂

We’ll be fine – just breathe deeply and think calm thoughts.

Best of Luck!

-Bella

Post # 11
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I am feeling similar.  Only 13 days, and getting anxious- feel like everyone will think my hair and makeup don’t look right, that my dress isn’t right, that I look fat, etc.  Don’t like being the center of attention.  Wishing my fiance would walk up the aisle with me so it wouldn’t be so much focus on me.  Dreading the pictures- I really want to have nice pictures but worried we won’t look good in them.  (Fiance gets nervous in front of the camera and makes goofy faces, and I never seem to look good.)  Wishing it were smaller (110 people).  Part of me thinks the sweats and just hanging out would be more fun. 

Post # 12
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I can totally relate.  It’s a small relief to know that I’m not the only one that feels this way!  I guess I’m not what people would consider the “typical” bride, because if I had my way, I would be running off to Mexico and having a small destination wedding.  However, my fiance is really the one that wants a traditional wedding, so I’m pretty much stuck with that.  I hate crowds and being the center of attention. 

I would honestly recommend seeing a doctor about it, and maybe getting a small prescription for an anti-anxiety med like Xanax.  I know that might be blunt advice, but honestly, being told to just calm down and relax does not really work for people like us that have deeper anxiety issues than the typical bride.  I’m sure you want to feel as comfortable as possible on your day, and I’m sure getting something from a doctor will really help to take the edge off.  Good luck! 

Post # 13
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

oh i’m dreading the wedding for that reason! can’t wait to be married but i don’t like to be center of attention so i never wanted a wedding, i’m doing it for him. and it’s even going to be very small, but any people is still too big for me. i try to take my mind off of it by doing wedding things that i enjoy, like crafting and diy.

Post # 14
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I totally understand what you are going through. I’m freaking about it and I still have lots of time to go before the big day! I hate being the center of attention and having everybody look at me. I don’t like being in large crowds and having to talk to people. I am not good at making small talk and get nervous around people, especially people I haven’t seen in a while. And I’m really nervous things won’t turn out. Now that I’m thinking about all this stuff, it’s making me even more nervous.

I didn’t want a big wedding, I just wanted to elope but my Fiance loves entertaining and being around lots of people and being the center of attention so he wanted to have the big wedding with lots of guests so that’s why I’m doing the whole wedding thing. Plus, my mom convinced me that I would want to have the big wedding to look back on and if I didn’t have one, I would regret it later.

 

Post # 15
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

I am pretty much freaking out right now. I’m getting married on Saturday and I’m a wreck. I don’t know why! I never thought I would be like this. I am not nervous at all about getting married. I’m pretty sure my dad will be dragging me down the aisle because I am going to forget how to walk.

I just keep trying to take deep breaths…

Post # 16
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I posted about this exact same thing last week at some point. I’m totally with you on this. I have anxiety issues in general and I’m dreading “the day.” Well, really just the ceremony part where it’s an all eyes on me situation and I have to speak, etc. The reception I just get to drink and dance and eat, so I’d kind of just like to get to that part! Our ceremony is going to be like 15 minutes long too because I insisted it be as short as possible. We’re not doing a religious ceremony, not writing vows, etc. He wanted to but I told him it was not going to happen because I just couldn’t do it. No way.

You’ll get through it but I totally feel you and it sucks when it’s something you want to be excited about but instead you’re just a nervous wreck. HUGS!

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