Anxiety and wanting to cancel/elope

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

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pineappleprincess92 :  

I definitely want to say do what makes you comfortable. If you are uncomfortable having even a small wedding and really just want to elope, you should be able to do that.

However, I do wonder if you think your anxiety will flare up after the fact, with people’s reaction to your elopement. You will likely encounter friends and family that are upset you chose that route. There is just no way around it. Will you be able to deal with loved ones giving you grief over your choice for years to come?

I of course do not want to pressure you into anything, just keep your mind open to the idea that by eloping, you are going to upset some people, and have to explain yourself to them. They may resent you for years and hold it over your head. For myself, I know that would cause a lot more anxiety than doing a smaller wedding so I could celebrate my love with my closest friends and family.

Post # 3
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

We got married just the two of us and a justice of the peace. Zero regrets. No one was mad either even though I’m an only child and my husband has a large family that does celebrations. They respected our wishes. End of story.

Post # 4
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

im really into vacations so ide opt for elopment and a honeymoon. you can still have a reception when you get back if you please. a little back yard shin dig with you close loved ones who will not judge you

Post # 5
Member
7952 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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pineappleprincess92 :  I cry a lot and feel like I just want it over with, which is NOT how I want to feel about a wedding! But I’m worried that by October, I’ll be even worse off and not even happy at all.

Sweet Bee. Do what you need to do to be happy and comfortable. If that means the two of you get married on your own now and celebrate in October with the reception you’ve planned so be it. Hugs.

Post # 6
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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pineappleprincess92 :  OMG you’ve described my sitatuation. I don’t really have an answer for your, but just want you to know you’re not alone, and that I’m actually reading people’s answers to your posts to figure this out myself. But i will say, the did overcome a bit of the anxiety of him leaving by just finally convincing myself to take a leap of faith. I love him with all my heart and soul, and the anxiety just took away from those feelings. There’s always the risk of getting hurt and being left, but I think you’ll be pleasantly suprised by just letting him love you and you loving him as you both are. like you do with your best friends. But i’m still working this out too, so take it all with a grain of salt. lol. But Good luck and thanks for your post!! Sending warm thoughts and love. 

Post # 8
Member
2060 posts
Buzzing bee

That’s great bee! A big wedding isn’t necessary, especially if it is stressing you out this much. I think it’s a delightful idea to get married now and then throw a small reception later 🙂 you can still have everything you want and a lot less stress and anxiety! And your mom is already on board with that idea which is awesome. Do what feels right for you. And it’s great that your SO is on board as well!

Post # 9
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Do what you want to do! I never wanted to elope but have a small party, but now everything I actually want to do is to run away hahaha

Our wedding is only 3 weeks away, but the stress with his family and culture difference (I’m Swiss, he’s Mexican) have gotten me to a point where it – sorry – p*sses me off. The culture difference are not between me and him, but with his family. I could write a book about it. And my big problem is, that I want to pleas everyone and in the end I forget about myself. I would never ever do it like this again.

So, the bottom line is, that your family and everyone that is close to you, will respect your decision and maybe some will be taken aback, but they’ll survive it.

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