(Closed) Anxiety is setting in… I don’t know what to do!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oh, no.. is this how I’m going to be weeks before my wedding? I’m a worrier and I stress out pretty easily so I’m thinking the answer is YES.

So, deep breaths and bubble baths don’t work? Well, I’ve never been through something as crazy exciting/stressful/anxiety-inducing as wedding planning before, but I find in general when I’m stressing and need to unwind, I like to escape with either video games or a book that’s not too heavy and easy to get lost in (like Twilight or Harry Potter.)

Post # 4
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

have you tried wine?

Post # 5
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sounds like you are having a panic attack…go to your doctor(or ER) and they can prescribe you a mild sedative. I get them too and deep breaths, relaxing don’t help me

Post # 6
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m so glad you posted this. I’m getting married a in three weeks on July 2nd and am starting to crack…

It started last week when I found myself feeling nervous and really jumpy, I made a couple of silly mistakes at work and was constantly on the verge of tears. Saturday I tried my dress (not finished yet) and we had a final meeting with the venue and the rest of the day is a blur, I spent it tensed up like a ball of nerves.

Now, I’m usually level headed and used to dealing with stressful situations. Unfinished ceremony programs would normally not be reason for me to wake up at 5am but I don’t know what’s going on with me. And I hear you on the tears, I keep tearing up for the smallest things. Listening to music on youtube for our ceremony – receipe for disaster at the moment!

Like mwitter80 says, try wine. And make sure you get lots of sleep and rest, it’s really does help. Talk to your fiance, when I was having a meltdown the other day my fiance said “even if we do not do a single other thing from now until the wedding, we’ll still have a fantastic day”. Sometimes you just need some perspective!

Post # 8
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Mrs Hedgehog: i went through the same thing before my wedding. and i thought once i got to Jamaica i would be fine and relax the 2 days before my wedding….NOT!  my Darling Husband and best friend said i was un recognizabe the 2 days before my wedding! just remember that once the day comes, everything will be fine and if a few things don’t go EXACTLY as planned,. then its ok! you will have stories to tell later. the most important thing is to enjoy your day and take in as much as possible,

Post # 9
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My best friend told me today to remember whatever happens from now on you’ll still get married to Mr Hedgehog. There may not be cute decorations or paper goods or a candy buffet or a cool photobooth or whatever else it is you’re stresing about but you’ll still get married to the man you love.

Maybe take a break from wedding websites? I’m obviously not taking my own advice here but for high-achiever types being bombarded with cute DIY projects and fabulous events is not helpful when stress levels are already through the roof, we tend to take those things as a challenge…

Oh, and try not solve other people’s wedding related problems. My personal example: last week my dad emailed and said “I’m taking my mobile home to your wedding. Can I park it outside your house?” Now, I live in central London and that’s like saying “I’m taking my RV to New York City and want to park it outside your apartment”…. how and why my dad thinks this is a good idea I don’t know… after stressing out for a few hours (or days if I’m honest) I decided to tell him it’s not such a good idea and suggest he find a camp site outside the city instead. After all, if he wants to take his RV instead of catching a flight like everyone else it’s his headache.

Post # 10
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

@Mrs Hedgehog:

I know how stressful the last few weeks to getting married can be. I’ve been there! When you think you are going crazy and acting out of your usual character. I would like to let you into a little secret weapon to stress. I have a video showing you a 5 minute technique that can change your way of coping during these last few weeks to your beautiful Big Day. Just visit my video at

Believe me it can really help, it certainly made me a calmer and more together person so that I could get on with enjoying the preparation for my wedding. Try it and let me know how you get on Innocent

Post # 11
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@The Unsuspecting Bride:  LMAO!!  An RV in central London?  Maybe the Queen will let him park it at Buckingham Palace?  I really can’t think of any place else with a big enough parking lot.  Or a parking lot, period.  Thank you for starting my morning with laughter!

 @Mrs Hedgehog: Seriously, you might want to try a very low dose of Valium.  If I take 5-10mg it doesn’t make me drowsy or woozy but takes away the panic.

The Unsuspecting Bride also has some great advice about not letting other people’s problems become yours.  I could create a whole other post about week-before drama from other people.  They are grown-ups (probably), let them solve it themselves.

Take a look at your list and cut out the unneccessaries.  My mom and I did this 3 days before the wedding.  Eight months later, I couldn’t even tell you what we cut so that tells you how important it was.

Ask for help.  Because I lived out of town, I had pretty much been planning by myself.  Once I got in town, there were tons of people willing to help, I just had to delegate (I am a terrible delegater at work too).  As one of my BMs put it, “Quit spazzing and tell me what you want me to do.  I’ve been tying my shoes since I was 5, so I can probably handle tying bows on favors…”

Post # 12
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

oh my, Ms. Hedgehog I am right there with you right now. In fact, just working on the names for my placecards, and my chest keeps getting tight when I think about all I have to do 🙁

 

we’ll get through it though!! I don’t think I realized that I would get this stressed out by it all when I started wedding planning!

 

 

Post # 13
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I understand!! Its 5 weeks til or wedding and I have constant jitters and butterflies, am crying at least once a day and feel like a crazy person im so emotional!! Its normal but tough. Try to take some time out every day and absorb yourself in something else xx

Post # 14
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

Sorry you’re experiencing such anxiety.  I would try a glass or two of wine and a great massage!  My BM’s gave me a massage as a shower gift and it was one of the best gifts I could of received as the wedding approached.  Another thing that might help is to try some relaxation techniques.  You can read about them online.  Lastly, create a “timeline” of the tasks that you need to complete prior to the wedding.  Yes, it might look overwhelming at first, but you’ll see that everything can be accomplished on time.  If something seems like it’s too big of a task, ask for help!  If you think it’s more serious, go to a professional to help you “ease” the jitters so that you can truly enjoy the upcoming event that you’ve been waiting so long for! 

Post # 15
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Mrs Hedgehog:Not alone, I’m there, too. Me and SO almost had a fight about glasses last night. We apologized late last night and we both wondered– “why do we care about this at all?” “oh… the wedding is too soon!”

 

But, in a month we’ll have our party and our fun and be MARRIED.

And no more planning after that!

Post # 16
Member
10589 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I wouldn’t want to try a new medication so close to the wedding, but evening of primrose oil and a B complex vitamin can help with stress a little.  I’m not hugely into natural products, but if it’s something that I could get form my diet anyone and it’s not a megadose I’ll try it.  Also, try some yoga, doing an activity you really enjoy, and focussing on your marriage after the wedding.  Remember that some stress is normal and most brides feel similar.  It makes you feel a little less crazy Laughing

 

I’m shocking less stressed now than I was when doing the invitations and other wedding stuff months ago.  That doesn’t mean I’m not waking up in the middle of the night because of a weird wedding dream or thinking of something that has to be done though, it’s just less frequent it was then months ago!

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