- 1 year ago
- Wedding: August 2017 - Orange County, CA
Hi Bees! I have a bit of a dilemma and I’ve just been going round and round in circles and can’t come up with a solution so I thought I’d get some outside, objective input!
Background: I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for about 2 years, brought on by a ton of life changes (moving house, marriage, illness, master’s program, job stress). This summer everything became too overwhelming and I had a bit of a meltdown. I was having some very dark thoughts and wanted to quit my job and run away.
With my (super loving and patient) husband’s help I am coping, and by the start of school in September, things were better. Then my parents and sister surprised me and told me they were planning a family vacation to Thailand for the 2 weeks of winter break and would I like to go?
So, here’s the problem: I hate hot weather, air travel, busy and stressful vacations. I feel like my family has not acknowledged/been supportive of my mental health struggles. I have tentatively said “yes” but thinking about the trip is making me anxious to the point that it’s affecting my day-to-day life (I can’t stop thinking/stressing about it).
To make matters worse I am feeling a bit sensitive about my relationship with my sister. We used to be super close, but since I married and moved out I feel like she is distant and reserved. I think it’s just me being overly sensitive and she is also dealing with her own “life-stuff.”
Also, I decided go to a partial teaching contract this year. That means I am earning about 15% less than I did last year. Our finances are solid, and my husband is supportive, but an international vacation is expensive nonetheless.
On the other hand, I love my family and I don’t want to miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime trip with them. My parents are getting older and my sister is very busy with her career so the circumstances where we can all do a huge trip together might not ever happen again.
I want to go! I don’t want to go! Arghhh!
Thank you for reading if you made it this far! Any input would be appreciated!
tl;dr Been struggling with anxiety and depression for about two years. Family is going on a vacation to Thailand for 2 weeks during the Christmas/New Year break. I am a teacher and that time is when I usually re-set. Been doing better this school year but I am worried that a hectic/whirlwind international vacation will be a set-back in terms of mental health and wellness. Also decided to go down to a partial contract so money is a concern as well (not huge, just need to budget). Should I go?