@everyone: Thank-you for responding. Seeing someone post a comment made me feel that I was being consoled. I think the cause of it is all of what you guys have suggested.
Watching us get married, her reaching 50, and long story (last year she went overseas to her mother country and she met her teenage sweetheart to whom she wanted to marry at the time. However, when her parents found out they didn’t want her to get married to him and so they arranged a marriage between an Australian guy (my father).
Anyway 30 years later and divorced (11 years ago) Last year she goes back and she meets her high school sweet heart and they are all in love. He’s in a process of getting a divorce and they kept in contact. After my wedding this year July, she went back to her country and he left her waiting at a restaurant. He told her that his son would be getting married soon and he didn’t want to cause any trouble for them so he said that it would be best if they didn’t get together.
She was devastated….. She calls me up at work and tells me she met a guy at a bakery, who is 9 years younger than her and that this guy has never been with a girl. She asks me if it is ok to date him and I tell her sure.
Overseas if you date someone you should be engaged to him. I don’t agree, but I feel her sisters over there are pushing her. I told her just get to know him. I know she was devastated and she was rebounding. Anyway, when she arrived 30 min into the house from picking her up at the airport, she tells us, “I am getting married to him.” This was in November.
We have been trying to tell her that she should go over there and get to know him better before marrying him. We don’t even know anything about him, and I can’t imagine picking her up at the airport and her telling us that this is her husband and we should look up to him like a father. She has been looking for wedding dresses… THIS stressed me out. She has been defensive and hasn’t given up. Eventually, I told her I probably won’t see her if she marries this guy and brings him back. So she gets worried calls him up and tells him it’s over. I felt bad and told her, mum I don’t want you to cry, I want you to be happy bbuut all we are asking is that you get to know him. So then she gets back with him. We had a sit down and a chat about how we would support her, but just not to rush and she agrees. Then boxing day she says that she wants me to drive her to the immigration department.
She bought her ticket the other day and she is leaving on the morning of my brother’s birthday and coming back the day after my birthday. What a coincidence that she will be missing both of our birthdays. Which hurts. She is even taking leave without pay just to see him and my brother and I will be left to pay off the house. Which I don’t mind, but it shows how much she is putting aside for a guy she doesn’t even know.
What kind of guy hasn’t ever been in a relationship at the age of 43?! I saw a photo of my mum and him and he doesn’t even have his arm around her properly. He looks miserable and she has a big smile on her face. I have tried everything :.(……. I am scared of losing her, I don’t speak to my dad anymore.