anxiety through the roof…

posted 2 weeks ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Hostess
7365 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

emmy1989 :  He might be holding onto the ring and hasn’t proposed yet as he is still making plans. Maybe he is hoping you will “forget” about it, so then it is a “surprise”.

 

It is great news that he has the ring though! 

Post # 3
Member
4287 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

If you agreed to june 2019 why on earth would you expect him to have gone ring shopping or asked your parents?  It seems very premature for you to have blown up at him over this. 

Honestly it sounds like you are letting your anxiety take over to the point that it is becoming  detrimental  to your relationship.  Even after finding out he bought the ring you find a way to twist it into a negative. You need to separate your previous relationship from this one and stop taking out what happened previously on this guy.

Have you ever spoken to someone about your anxiety?  Perhaps it would be helpful to learn ways to control your anxious feelings? 

Post # 4
Member
3291 posts
Sugar bee

You’ve jumped the gun on the ring. He has plenty of time to get one and he might have a different idea in mind of how to go about it. For example, I described what I liked and my husband bought it online on his own. Done. Got engaged about 3 days later after it arrived. 

Post # 5
Member
2545 posts
Sugar bee

Though I will never understand why someone would hold onto a ring for months in order to have a staged fauxposal, he did say June 2019. On July 1st you can stress. Right now it’s only going to be counterproductive.

Post # 6
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2017 - City, State

Have you considered seeing a counselor for your anxiety? They can help you learn techniques to deal with your anxiety and pull yourself out of this loop.

Post # 8
Member
292 posts
Helper bee

emmy1989 :  I’m confused about the timing. Asking your parents and buying a ring can be done in a couple weeks. More importantly, saying that he has the ring and that he was going to propose this weekend and now you have to wait because you “ruined it” is manipulative. He knows this is causing you anxiety and is continuing to perpetuate it. This is a red flag.

Post # 9
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

I think you should talk to somebody about your anxiety. It sounds like it is really shaping your life in ways that are harmful to your happiness, health, and well-being. In fact, it sounds like your anxiety is really threatening what might othewise be a happy relationship. 

As for your immediate question- I think your anxiety is entirely overblown. I’m the one who proposed in my relationship, and planning the whole thing took about…..two weeks? If your timeline is June that is MANY months from now. Especially if he already has a ring, its hard to imagine why he would need to be doing anything now to easily meet that timeline. And if he hasn’t violated the timeline you both worked out TOGETHER, you don’t really have any cause for being angry at him or for feeling like he is threatening your trust or not committed to your relationship. 

Post # 10
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

I agree with one of the PPS, why would he ‘punish’ you for ruining his proposal by waiting longer. Doesnt seem lovign or fair. But i would judt lay low and wait until July.

 

Post # 11
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

I agree with one of the PPS, why would he ‘punish’ you for ruining his proposal by waiting longer. Doesnt seem loving or fair. But i would judt lay low and wait until July.

 

Post # 13
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

emmy1989 :  Congrats!! Would love to see ring pics if you have any!! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
411 posts
Helper bee

Congrats bee! What a wonderful story! I’m so glad it worked out for you 

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