Anxious about bachelorette long weekend

posted 3 months ago in Parties
Post # 16
9869 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you want to go, just be open with the bride about your need to have some space alone. It’s your friend, remember? It could be as simple as taking a walk or a run by youself in the morning when you wake up or in the evening when there’s some downtime. 

Post # 17
735 posts
Busy bee

Whenever I’ve gone on a trip with girlfriends, usually someone will step out to do something on their own, like get their nails done or go on run. Or sometimes a couple people will leave a bar early while other people want to stay out later. It’s no big deal.

having a detailed itenerary would actually make me feel better, because then I would know what to expect and maybe see where I could skip out for a bit.

Post # 18
3089 posts
Sugar bee

Is there any possibility of either a bigger Air BnB so that you could have your own room (and pay the difference), or would it be possible to get your own hotel room or a small Air BnB nearby?  Any chance any of the other bridesmaid might feel the same way? You might be able to get a nearby 2 bedroom Air BnB with another bridesmaid who would also like more privacy.

I’m very introverted and I highly value privacy/space/quiet.  I don’t do well with sharing bedrooms with anyone other than my spouse, and when we travel, we’ll often get a suite or something similar so we don’t always have to be in the same room together.

Post # 19
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@Ellak30:  since there is an itinerary I would probably look now and figure out which activities I plan on skipping and let the bride know. I assume she knows you well enough to understand your need for downtime? I am similar in needing downtime when spending an extended period of time with people so will often excuse myself for a walk or run that I stretch out for a couple of hours. 

Post # 20
1916 posts
Buzzing bee

This is me. I’m assuming the bride is someone you are very close with and probably already knows this about you. I’d talk with her and just let her know your concerns and that you may need to opt out of some activities to recharge. Then she’s not blindsided, but can also help pacify any questions from others in your absence. I’m guessing most of the girls will overindulge and not even notice your absence, and some may and make a comment. But if the bride is in the know and can be prepared, there should be no reason she can’t vouch for you. At least – this is how it would work in my circle of friends, or with me and my besty. And if that doesn’t work – agree with others and say that you are unable to go, or cannot stay for the whole trip. 

Post # 21
1503 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: USA

View original reply
@Ellak30:  I think a PP had a great suggestion, just go for one or two nights you know you could be all in for, and leave when you are ready to. I think if you go the whole time and want to spend a lot of time on your own, you run the risk of alienating yourself from the party and everyone can kind of feel that you aren’t having a good time. It’s best to stick to your comfort zone and have a great time , rather than stretch yourself and feel like you need to escape. 

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