Post # 1
Hi everyone, I just got engaged a few weeks ago to my neighbour. We had been close friends for almost a year and finally decided to date, a few months later he proposed. We’r both 21 and still studying so we will only get married in 2 years after graduation. He treats me really well and is supportive and kind and I really love him. He quit smoking for me and got his act together for me, he says I ‘saved’ him, though he still gets really drunk with his friends when he does go party. But, getting married would entail moving to a different country so he can run the family business. He comes from a very wealthy family, I dont, and because of this safety net he’s never had to work or study hard because he knows there’s an amazing job waiting for him after grad; whereas I’m from a middle class background and I’m a law student on academic scholarship so I study all the time. I can easily see our future together, I just worry that his attitude towards responsibility and work ethic as well as the party/beach lifestyle he enjoys with his other rich friends will become an issue? Any advice?
Post # 3
You’re really young and this has happened really quickly. I think its a good thing you are having a long engagement because in those years you will likely both change and grow. Whether you’ll grow toggether or apart remains to be seen.
Post # 4
That sounds pretty fast to me… I’d say just have a long engagement and see how your relationship goes. If you grow closer, wonderful, then you will probably be willing to move with him. But if he continues to act immature, you need to think carefully before taking the huge step of marrying him.
Post # 5
A few things that stuck out to me:
1. You said you got engaged to your neighbor. Even if I met my Fiance while I was living next door to him, I don’t think I could ever call him my neighbor.
2. It took a few sentences for you to say that you really love him.
Did this all come as a surprise to you? Did you want to date him longer before being proposed to?
If so, I think you said yes because you’re a nice person, and it’s good you have a long engagement.
If you’re questioning his character now, you should be really be observant and try to be objective over the next two years. And if you don’t feel that he isn’t 100% right for you, or you’re not 100% right for him, don’t hesitate to do the right thing and end the relationship.
Good luck 🙂
Post # 6
The way you wrote your post makes you sound like you’re not too into it. Why did you want to get engaged? There’s nothing wrong with saying you’re not ready. If you’re going to get married you should be able to talk about stuff like this.
Post # 7
I just worry that his attitude towards responsibility and work ethic as well as the party/beach lifestyle he enjoys with his other rich friends will become an issue? Any advice?
He’s 21 and a party animal that is going to be handed the family business and just got engaged to his neighbor that he knew a year and that he dated all of a few months. I know you said you “saved him” at one point, but I think in this instance you should save yourself and walk away. If that isn’t an option then you need to talk to him. I wish you the best, but this relationship seems a little rushed.
Post # 8
If you don’t like the party lifestyle he leads now, you won’t like it when you’re married.
Sure, maybe it’s just a phase typical of 21 year olds, but you won’t know if it’s something he’ll move on from until he’s older. If you’re unsure, keep dating, be engaged if you want, but don’t plan a wedding until you are comfortable. If that means 5 years from now, so be it.