Post # 1
I’m not PG, but looiking down that road hopefully soon…but I wonder if people have other fears about giving birth other than pain, anestheisa, needles, the usual…
I was there when my mother gave birth, I was also presenet at a few teenaged births when I was in highschool…and the thigns I saw, may have given me some fears about gross breach of privacy and modesty.
I literally recall and picture in my mind episodes of nurses barging in pulling down hospital gowns and grabbing boobs, and the worse was them barging in pulling down the sheet, lifting up the gowns pulling down the mesh panties in front of everyone to check the lochia and change the pad…In front of EVERYONE…as well as frank coversations about vaginal tearing and hemmeroids, medical history also in front of everyone…
I even recall the nurse massaging the uterus right in front of us all…checking the cervix too…
I guess my biggest fear is a totally loss of dignity while in the hospital..
Maybe this fear is irrational and perhaps a frank concersation with your nurse prior to delivery would eliminate this problem…just wonder if others have similar fears or maybe some I haven’t thought of????
Post # 3
You get used to it. I know for mine, I went into labor early and when the doctors/nurses came into the room to do a check they would have everyone leave (my SIL/BIL were there for a while). It would be just me or me and my Darling Husband with the doctors/nurses.
Considering we stayed in the NICU for 4 weeks and tried to Boyfriend or Best Friend, all you had for privacy was screens, you just get used to people being around you while your half naked.
Post # 4
Woah, you saw some terrible things! My hospital was nothing at all like that. Whenever something had to be done we had plenty of time to ask people to leave or else the nurse would ask them to leave for us. We actually didn’t see any visitors during the labor process– Darling Husband went out to the waiting room and said “hi” briefly, but the doctor didn’t want them in the room and neither did I! Afterwards, I did have a lactaction consultant come, so she saw my top half naked and so did my nurse, but again that was by choice. My time in the hospital completely respected my dignity/privacy– try not to worry! 🙂
Post # 5
Maybe I’m making a crazy assumption here, but I have a feeling that nurses would feel like they can get away with rude things like that more with teen moms. I know that my 16-year-old self would never have called out a nurse for doing something like that, but I sure as hell would now. I can’t imagine this being a problem in 99% of hospitals. Plus, if your Darling Husband is right there then you’ll have somebody advocating for you who won’t let things like that go down.
Post # 6
Everhone says you get used to it. you won’t care…but they don’t know me…..
Post # 7
i will have a private room and i will also restrict hospital visits to very very brief amounts of time. women are only in hospital 1-2 nights so i dont think its rude to do this. any kind of examinations etc will only be done if any visitors are cleared from the room
the only one in the room during labour and directly after will be my husband
frankly im more worried about post-natal body changes – fatness, incontinence, bleeding nipples from breasfeeding etc
Post # 8
@fresitachulita: Here is the thing though, for example if your baby is born early like my little boy was, you had no choice to in the matter about where you Boyfriend or Best Friend. The NICU unit was several big rooms with babies in varring incubators to bassenets. You don’t get to go in a room to Boyfriend or Best Friend, your child is hooked up to all kinds of monitors. You have a chair or rocking chair you sit in by that incubator and for my case. We could hold him every several hours so I could do skin on skin and Boyfriend or Best Friend.
To do this there was several privacy screens around me. So I was still in the room with all kinds of nurses, babies and yes even other parents.
You get to the point you just don’t care, all you are care about is feeding your child or spending time skin on skin. You HAVE to get used to it, there is no other choice in the matter.
Post # 9
@Sassygrn: This is really not so much about breastfeeding by itself…it’s the wholye trifecta of lack of privacy/ loss of dignity which to me includes exposed crotch, and having medical exams and procedures done in front of family.
Post # 10
Honestly, I would think those nurses were guilty of misconduct if they treat women like that. Examinations should always be done with the expressed permission of the patient unless it’s an emergency and not giving guests the opportunity to leave the room is just rude.
I didn’t really worry about much about labour, except the uncertainty of it. Not knowing what was going to happen and how I was going to cope with it. But I’ve heard from so many women that what they worry about most is having a Bridesmaid or Best Man in the birth.
Post # 11
L&D nurse here! I’m sorry to see you have had those experiences. Nurses and hospitals everywhere are making a huge push to respect modestly and dignity in the hospital. So I’ve found in my hospital, this is not too much an issue anymore.
Before any care provider goes into the room at my hospital we are required to knock. So we certainly don’t barge in unless we are carrying something heavy, and then we “knock’ with our voice. Personally, and from what i’ve seen this is what most nurses do at my hospital, I usually state what I am about to do/ask permission, and then give the family a chance to leave. Most families do not leave, and most patients do not want them to leave. I never ask family in the room to leave unless it is a safety/infection risk, or the patient desires them to leave. Many patients feel more comforted with their family present. Perhaps that is what happened in the examples you stated. No one got up to leave, so the nurse continued on? Perhaps not, though!
Looking at that, I think it is more important to speak with your family about those wishes, and usually the nurse will take your lead on that. However, if you do find your nurse just going for it, just say something like, “You know, I’m really modest/shy and would prefer my family to leave.” Some times on a busy day even the best of nurses will become a bit task/assessment oriented, and a kind reminder helps us to remember your wishes.
Granted, if there is an emergency, modesty can sometimes go out the window (But that is rare!)
Post # 12
@fresitachulita: I know, I am just saying that if and when you get pregnant that all kinds of things can make modesty go out the window. I was just giving you an example.
Post # 13
There is no reason why anything like that should happen to you.
Nurses should always ask and explain what they are going to do BEFORE they do it.
I never had a problem like that ever in the 5 days I had to stay at the hospital after giving birth (or the other times during my pregnancy that I stayed).
Learn to speak up. Protect yourself, ask questions and don’t let a nurse push you around if it comes down to it.
Post # 14
I think it’s important to remember that you are your own best advocate, and if you don’t want these things to happen, and they are – you need to speak up and set some boundaries!
Post # 15
I’m not worried about that because no one other than my husband and the medical staff will be invited!
I AM worried about the medical aspects though. For instance, I am trying to pick a hospital with low c-section and episiotomy rates.
Post # 16
I can only speak for where I work, but this kind of treatment wouldn’t happen. Any time clinical care is necessary, whether as assessment or a treatment/intervention, it should always be discussed before anyone lays a hand on you……barring flat out emergenices. And as PPs said, there is a very easy way to avoid all of this: tell any nurse, physician, medical student, midwife etc that no assessments or examinations will be done while others are present and until you are ready.