(Closed) Any 30-somethings worried about having a 2nd child?

posted 7 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 3
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

I’m also in the same boat and haven’t started on baby numero uno 🙁 I’d love to see people’s take on this.

Post # 4
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i’m in the EXACT same boat, same ages as you, same worries, everything.  as long as i get pregnant as soon after the wedding as i can (even though we won’t be in a great position financially) and then 9 months after baby 1 start trying for baby 2, then i think we’ll be ok.  BUT if there’s any delays for any reason, then yes, the idea does worry me! the reason i’m just going to have one straight after the other is that i think an 18 month age gap is fine (actually really nice, it’s the gap between me and my sister and our cousins and several friends as well.  so i say, don’t have the gap and just crack on with the second as soon as you finish breastfeeding number 1!  

Post # 5
Member
6823 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am 37 and pregnant with child #1.  Definately worried about kiddo coming out healthy and normal. 

Post # 6
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I was 34 when my husband and I got married and we decided to start TTC within a couple of months of our civil ceremony.  It’s now a year later with no luck, I’m 36 and probably looking at being 37 at least for our first child unless I get pregnant *now*!  My hubby’s also younger, he’s just about to turn 30.  At this point I think we are both hoping to have one kid and we’ll see how it goes after that.

No you aren’t crazy.  *hugs*  Hopefully it’s an easier road for you!  

Post # 7
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Im in the same boat too! I will be 34 when we get married adn if there are any problems I will also be quite worried. My partner has said about us trying to get married ASAP but I don’t want to be rushing around with stress!

Plenty of women have babies in there late 30’s though, maybe we are worrying too much?

Post # 8
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Honee, I wouldn’t worry.  One of my gf got married and had her 2nd @ 38 and her 3rd @ 40.  We are going to be trying for our 1st in Nov., and I’m 41.  I know other ladies close to my age who have been in my situation and didn’t have issues once pregnant.  I think ppl forget that woman back in the day, had children way in their 40s.  And these ladies didn’t have all the medical technology and understanding that we have today.   Like my doctor tells me, be positive, stay healthy, and stop stressing.Yeah, easier said than done when it comes to stressing:) 

Post # 9
Member
7413 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I;m 39 and we aren’t TTC yet (we going try after we have our civil ceremony this year). so we’ll see. Everyone I talk to says ultimately it is what you make of it. I’m just gonna have to embrace the experience no matter what it is.

Post # 10
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

My husbands uncle is 52 and his wife is 38 and they have 2 kids together and she had 3 before they got together. One is 14 months and one is almost a month old now. Their boy (14 months) has no problems at all and is right where he should be. Their girl doesn’t appear to have anything wrong at this point but who can tell this early. The only problems she had with either pregnancy was with the recent one she had a few blood pressure problems but she wasn’t put on bed rest and worked until the baby came. You don’t need to worry unless your doctor says you should. Relax. Just because a certain percentage of women have problems during their pregnancy after they hit 30 doesn’t mean you will have any problems.

Post # 11
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m 38 years Fabulous and am facing the TTC immediately after the wedding issue. I’ve a 14 year old son from a previous marriage, while my beloved Fiance is childless. As much as I’d hoped for more time to spend together sans infant, he’s thrilled with the idea of becoming a father in 2012. Whereas most of my fellow Bees are concerned with the medical ramifications of of pregnancy after 35..I’m anxious over the idea of starting over with a newborn. I haven’t had to care for a baby in many years. Will I be able to recall the wisdom of my elders that helped me through sleepless nights, hours of nursing, and teething? And will this second pregnancy & birth pass by as flawlessly as my first?? Will I be stricken with morning sickness and every other malady that I didn’t experience with my son? 

I guess time will tell…

let the beatings begin.

 

Post # 12
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@MsChievous08: I hear you!  I will be 33 when we TTC.  My first and only was born when I was 18.  What a laugh that pregnancy was!  I danced and taught dance until I was 8 months pregnant.  But it all comes back to you.  I made a career switch and became a nanny 3 years ago.  First one I cared for was 2 months old!  It is funny how I switched back to Mommy mode so fast.

But I am worried about the differences being an older mom than before.  How my body will handle it.  Having to deal with someone needing me all the time.  My daughter is pretty self suffienct now so its back to square one!

Post # 13
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My husband is 29 and i am 34. we have agreed to start TCC in May the latest but i swaer to you every day in between feels like an eternity.

we also want 2 kids and it is extremely hard for me to convince my sweet but naive hubby that this process may take more time than we bargained for AND that even if it happens quickly the first time there is no guarantee the second time will be as easy.

i feel like our agreed upon time is just in the nick of time but it is still very hard to just wait and not know.

in the interim i am having a bunch of non invasive tests done and taking every step to modify my lifestyle/diet early. i am taking prenatals already. off the pill. gained back some weight after getting super skinny for my wedding. getting finances in order as best i can. reading everything that i find. the tests i am getting are AMH and FSH which determine your ovarian reserve. if they come back high Hubs and i will try in Feb instead of May. that will factor in as a physical reason not an emotional one. i have also been charting on FF to see if i am ovulating.

All of this is helping prepare me but i must warn you it does also kind of get you going enough that the wait can be harder so don’t go there unless you are like me and you just MUST plan and prep for everything or you will blame yourself.

I hope we have short journeys and can help eachother out when our turn to start trying comes.

A

Post # 14
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m 31 and my husband’s 33. We’re trying two years after getting married. I just had a friend who had a baby at 38 while my knitting teacher had hers at 38 and 40. They give me hope. We’re on our 3rd cycle TTC right now.

Post # 15
Member
1429 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I am sending good luck and baby dust to all of you.

I am 42 and have two “children” one is 21 and the other is 13.

My Fiance and I have been together off and on for 8 years he is 4 years younger than me and has no children of his own.

I always wanted a baby with him and we got tested and tried for about 6 months a year ago but then he freaked and said he wouldn’t want to upset his parents buy having a baby before wedlock. 

At this point I think that ship has sailed for me but you girls have plenty of time. My gyno told me she just delivered a healthy baby to her oldest patient. 47.

Post # 16
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I wasn’t 30 when this thread was started so I must have overlooked it lol! But now as I am 30, yes I am starting to worry about this. My sister started in her early 30’s and has 3 healthy children, but I don’t think she is the norm. We know it’s now or never with TTC if we want to have more than one child, so the pressure is like crippling us!

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