(Closed) Any 40+ brides TTC?

posted 10 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 18
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1999

I’m 41 and TTC for the first time ever!  We’re in our 4th month of trying since I went off of BCP’s.   Of course, I’m worried about the possible effects of having a child at my age, but I strongly believe that we can handle whatever comes our way.  I’m also afraid of how much our lives will change.  We’ve been able to do whatever we want when we want to, so I’m realistic about how our “selfishness” will have to end.  I do think I would be a wonderful mother (and my husband a great father), as I’ve worked with children all of my life.  I am doing what I can to be healthier.  I’ve had my blood tested, eating better, taking vitamins, and exercising.  I can only imagine the love that you feel for your own child. So, in a nutshell…nope, you’re not alone! 

Post # 19
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@luvmyDwight:  I forgot to add that our ages are the same as your ages…FH is the younger one too. 

Post # 20
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1999

Maybe those of us that are 40+ and TTC can create our own support thread here??!!

Post # 23
Member
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@luvmyDwight:  I’m 41 and I’d love to try and have a baby. Our delay has been in trying to get insurance to cover some genetic testing for me, since my younger sister is a carrier for cystic fibrosis. So we aren’t actively ttc right now.

While there are negatives, you have to keep in mind that there are negatives at any age one has a baby. Yes, the statistics are lower when you are younger, but women in their 20s and 30s can have children with Down’s syndrome (or other genetic anomalies). Just keep in mind there are also plenty of women who have perfectly healthy babies as part of those statistics as well. 

If you are eating healthy, exercising and taking vitamins you are doing all on your end that you can. I was told by my ob/gyn not to delay seeking fertility help, but honestly both my hubby and I are of the mindset that it will happen naturally, if it doesn’t then we are adopting a whole lot of furry babies. 🙂

Post # 24
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I’ll probably be joining that board next year. We’re going to wait to be married at least 6 months before we try-doing our honeymoon to New Zealand in December, and being pregnant equals no sky diving!

I talked with my OB/GYN about getting pregnant over 40, and she (gently) warned me that at this age, only one out of three embryos may take. There’s no nice way to say it- you need to be prepared for the possibility of miscarriages. 

We’ve also discussed adoption, and are open to international adoptions/adopting a child of a different race. You may find it’s worth discussing other possibilities with DH beforehand. I know that IVF is not something I want to pursue, and there’s a… sense of peace that I know what other paths to parenthood we’ve agreed on.

Post # 25
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hi.  I am turning 40 at the end of this month and me and Fiance have been TTC for over a year now.  Going through the meds like clomid and metaformin.  I have 3 children from my previous marriage and want a baby with him since he has none.  I know the risks but as a parent of a autistic child, I am not afraid of what may happen.

 

Post # 26
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

At the start of the year, THREE of my out-of-town school friends emailed me to ask how late they could RSVP, as they were trying for a baby this year, and if they succeeded sooner rather than later they probably wouldn’t be able to make the trip.

A local friend is already pregnant and due on my wedding day!

I joked on FB that I would have expected these concerns from my potential guests five to ten years ago, not at 40!

Post # 27
Member
874 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@luvmyDwight:  My mother was in her late 30’s early 40’s when she had us.  I say if you want a baby, and it is not harmful or dangerous to you or the baby’s health.  GO FOR IT!!

Post # 28
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Just an update:  out of the aforementioned three friends–all my age–only ONE has yet to pre-decline due to impending baby, and they’re all first time mothers!

Post # 29
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I’m not 40, (I’m almost 22) but I’d just like to say that it is totally awesome and doable to have a child after 40! You’d be at an advantage as you have already experienced being a mum, and your children would be old enough to be supportive with your baby Smile 

My friends mother had a baby at the age of 45, and her pregnancy went well, and her son is now almost 2 years old Smile Her and her husband had to see a specialist, and she had to have a lot of health tests done, but if you live a healthy lifestyle, excercise, eat well, and have no health issues your chances of conception and having a healthy baby and pregnancy are hightened. I think doctors advise cesarians too when you’re over 40.

Also, I am studying Early Childhood and work as a reliever, and I’ve met plenty of mothers who are over 40. You can get a 20 year old who is unhealthy, who eats chips, smokes, drinks excessively, doesn’t excercise etc, and you can get a 40 year old who takes care of herself.

Age is just a number in my opinion Tongue Out I say go for it!

 

Post # 30
Member
721 posts
Busy bee

MY man and I thought about this but in the end decided we want to travel more. After 4 kids I am excited to be free lol. No sleepless nights or diapers! But if the child was my first I would definitely go for it!

Post # 30
Member
721 posts
Busy bee

MY man and I thought about this but in the end decided we want to travel more. After 4 kids I am excited to be free lol. No sleepless nights or diapers! But if the child was my first I would definitely go for it!

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