- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
Hello! I am getting married in 6 weeks to my wonderful fiance who has a two sisters with children who are at a good age to be a flower girl and ring bearer. Both of the mothers (his sisters) are in my bridal party, and both fathers are groomsmen. About a year ago, I asked how they felt about putting them in the wedding. I said that my personal feelings were that I wanted an adults only wedding, so both sets of parents could relax and enjoy themselves. Because of the child’s behavior a year ago, they decided that would be best, because they didn’t know how they’d behave at the ceremony, and that they wanted to be able to have a worry-free, good time, and their in-laws would babysit.
Well, fast forward to now, 6 WEEKS before the wedding. I went to visit them this past weekend since they threw me a shower in my fiance’s hometown. His mother and sister started hounding me about having them in the wedding, and questioned why I didn’t want them there. They were like , “well, why not? They’re well behaved now, and would be so cute!”
Well, keep in mind, these children are coddled over by the grand parents to the extreme. They are the center of attention for everything, and their needs always come first. I understand this, because they are children, but I don’t think that this should be something I should have to worry about on my wedding day.
So, they could see I was uncomfortable with the whole situation, and the sister is asking his other sister how her son can be measured for a tux, and his mother started having the kids practice walking down the aisle.
His sister cornered my fiance in private, telling him that now they really, really want their kids in the wedding. They did this out of earshot from me.
So, what do I do? I really don’t want them in the wedding. But, I don’t know how disgruntled they will be when they find out the answer is NO. I really was upset because I addressed this issure a year ago, and I thought everything was made clear. The wedding is at a historic estate where we will be all day, and it is no place for children.
Any suggestions on how to get through this? I’m SO resentful how demanding they are being. Since when do people invite themselves to be in the bridal party when not asked? And did I mention my fiance and I paying for the WHOLE wedding? Aren’t we the ones who are supposed to call the shots?
I’m so mad, I’m fuming! HELP!