My Fiance is an alcoholic. He doesnt drink every day since I have met him (but he did before that), at first I thought the drinking lots was because we were 22 and just having fun. We have 2 kids now, and he continued to drink heavy on weekends even after they were born, and it was making him really sick, vommiting blood, ulcers,he would piss the bed, puke in everything and everywhere.
Anyway, weve been together 5 years. The past 3, really since our son was born, has been really shitty to say the least. We almost did not make it through all that shit. Then I had enough, and he left for a month to go to his parents, right before Christmas. New years of last year he stopped drinking and came back home to us. He relapsed the night before Easter and got in a car accident and is now going through a trial and may have to go to jail. The lawyer is costing us over $20,000. Not to mention all the other shit weve been through. Anyway, I didnt really want to bring that up on these boards, but I completely understand how you feel.
So, since that horrible night he has quit drinking, aside from 2 relapses. He now realizes he really does have a problem, and does everything he can to stay away from triggers. Its tough, I dont understand what he goes through because I dont drink. I also am choosing not to drink anymore for support, even though I dont drink anyway lol It just kind of helps to tell people “we dont drink”.
But you know, I know people, including my family, wonder why the hell I am still with him. He is an alcoholic. He has been sober for 6 months. Unfortunately it took an accident for him to realize his problem. I still love him, I always will. He is the father of my 2 children, and I will stand by him 100%.
You just need to support your husband. That is what he needs, do whatever you can to help him. Try to understand the mood swings are because he is physically and mentally in pain because he is an alcoholic. It is hard, reallllly hard. But he can do it, and you being beside him 100% will make your relationship even stronger than it is. With time he will realize that he actually really does have a problem (he probably doesnt 100% believe it right now, even though he tells you he does).If he needs to go to AA, then help him find the meetings. Drive him there, encourage him. You stop drinking too. Dont go out with friends if theyre drinking. Dont go to places to eat that most people would drink alcohol with (that was big for us, we just dont go to restaurants anymore… kid friendly places only now) And most importantly create new habits, and find new things to do. Friday nights were always the hardest for my Fiance, so he started working Saturdays so he wouldnt go out partying. Over time the urge to go out Friday has settled down, but once in a while he has a bad day and wants to go out so we do something else.
Anyway I am rambling now lol if you ever want to talk just pm me! Hang in there!