(Closed) Any advice?

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

congrats on your engagement! catholic weddings are beautiful – even if some people think they are too long 🙂

what kind of wedding are you wanting to have? lots of people? small inimate? are you going to go all and do the reception hall and have flowers and centerpieces and what not? if so i would start on some DIY project – i would also get your venues booked ASAP – i know Fiance wants to help plan but the venues need to be booked in advance and i think that is something you need to jump on. also girl start looking for a dress!! Fiance doent need to help you with that. There are tons of things he will be able to help with in the 3 months at home but i would get the big things out of the way -vendors and venues!

there are tons of ladies on here that are very very knowledgable in the catholic faith – i grew up catholic but my husbands family is like super catholic (if there is such a thing) it intimmidated me so i can imagine how you feel. the catholic boards are great though!

 

Post # 5
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

you can do pre cana online but i dont know the rules around it and if its only certain diocese that offer it – but its worth looking into- though we did our precana exactly 2 months to the day before we got married. we got our test results back about 3 weeks before the wedding. (when we finally picked a date i had exactly 5 months to plan)

my husband is one of 13 kids and im one of 5 so i know all about big families! we knew we couldnt get away with a small wedding – we invited about 200 people (not including kids) and our officail count was 120…we got married feb 12th so kids were in school – we also had the “no kids rule” which i think helped keep the number down (we had kids at the ceremony and they were invited to come dance) but i didnt plan on having seats for them or serving them dinner (we got pizza for the kids that did end up coming)

well get started on your DIY projects! never to early to design and make your invitiations just dont print them – leave the date open until you know for sure when you are going to have it.

please post pics of your veil when you finish!

 

Post # 6
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Shylis: Congrats on your engagement!

How are you liking RCIA? Are you considering converting?

Is your Fiance deployed? (I might’ve missed that somewhere)

Okay first piece of advice – don’t book anything until you book the church. Some churches might say you need to finish pre-Cana before you can book, but that is definitely not the Law or anything. Explain your situation, and they should let you book a church. Most brides book a venue first, but for Catholic brides its really important to book the church first since you can’t really go church shopping or just decide to get married at your venue or something.

You can definitely pull a wedding together by November. If you get your church/venue booked now (which you can do without him, I mean, maybe not as fun without him, but your mom or sisters or friends or whomever will have more fun looking at venues than he probably will). The rest of it can be put together in a few months. We planned our wedding from February to August, and it was fine. Don’t let wedding websites fool you. You don’t need to pick your flowers 8 months out. Just some people do. 

So as far as non-Church parts of the wedding, if you want to, go ahead and book things like the venue, photographer, caterer, florist. You can figure out details like menus and decorations when he gets back. Your caterer won’t need to know what you are having months ahead of time anyway.

As far as the Church goes, you can definitely plan that when he gets back. Its not something you should throw together last minute, but its not like it has to be set in stone super early either. A good resource for wedding planning is: http://www.foryourmarriage.org.

A Catholic wedding is basically like a normal Sunday mass, with the couple saying the vows between where the homily and where the Prayers of the Faithful are. If you aren’t Catholic when you get married, then the wedding will probably just be the Rite of Marriage, and not a mass. Meaning that you’ll stop after the prayers of the faithful (well, plus a few more prayers after that) and won’t have communion. 

If you’ve never been to a wedding, talk to your church and ask if you can go to one. Technically anyone can go to a Catholic wedding because they are church events. (Though usually people only come if they are invited, you don’t have to worry about the whole parish crashing). If your church has a wedding coordinator, ask him/her about it and if they know a bride that would be okay with you coming and just sitting in the back. It’s a really important sacrament to receive, so I think its important to see it before hand. I mean, nothing weird goes on or anything, but its just good to know what you’re doing.

If you want to, you can message me and I’ll send you a link to my blog. I’m writing about my wedding right now and going over the parts of the mass and all. 

As far as pre-Cana, we did ours in a total of about 2 months. Talk to your church and see if you will need to go on a retreat (its usually part of it). If so, you will need to make sure those dates work with your time schedule. Our Pre-Cana was a few classes and being matched with a sponsor couple. I’ve heard of on-line options, but if you have the time to do it person to person, its really great and I would really encourage it. 

Post # 8
Member
3167 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

FH and I live in different states and we’re getting married at my church. we did the FOCCUS when he flew up and met with my priest. he’s flying up again in a few days and we’re meeting with a couple from my church to start the pre-cana. i’m flying down in april and we’re doing a weekend retreat. then… we’re done! i think anyways lol.

Post # 9
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You’ve gotten some great advice here! For help with the readings, etc, try catholicweddinghelp.com– you could at least get a jump on those decisions while you wait. Also, I’d inform the church you want to get married at of your date and situation ASAP, if you haven’t already. Book the date now, if you can, and get an idea of the times. One thing about Catholic weddings is that the times are not always as flexible as other venues (though that’s not always the case) because they have to make room for Mass times. You’ll need to schedule your other events around the times the church offers, and it’s good to have an idea of the standard times when you’re considering reception venues. If you at least contact your church and keep them abreast of the situation, they can let you what you need to do, and may be willing to work with you.

Post # 10
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would do what everyone else is saying and call the church to book your date as soon as you can.  You’re probably not the first or last to have weird timing, so I’m sure they’ve dealt with making adjustments for Pre-Cana, etc. before.  My Fiance is in the military, and we are currently in 2 different states, and getting married in my home church (also in a different state).  When I talked to our priest about it, he was really flexible.  He met with us briefly over Thanksgiving and told us that “the FOCCUS would be a good thing to do, but because of the circumstances, it’s ok if you don’t” —WHAT?!? We ended up talking to the priest where I’m living and doing the FOCCUS “correspondence” with the intention of going over it when Fiance gets done with his training.  We’re only going to have a couple weeks in the same place before the wedding, so we’ll be rushed too.

Our priest gave me kind of a checklist of things that needed to be done- including the FOCCUS, Engaged Encounter, NFP class, and having recent copies of our Baptismal certificates sent to the church.  You could check and see what exactly the requirements are for your church/diocese, and start looking at schedules for the Engaged Encounter (or Pre-Cana)- they’re usually online.  Sometimes the schedules are a little spread out, so you might want to tentatively schedule those for when you know your Fiance will be back.  I think it’s definitely feasible to get everything done in 3 months, but it will probably ease your mind to have your classes and retreats, etc. kind of penciled in on the calendar. 

Btw, I’m a big procrastinator too when it comes to stuff I’m nervous/unsure about- you may not even need an appointment to talk with the priest- maybe just call and talk to him.  You’re doing great if you’ve gotten the FOCCUS done already!  Good luck!

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