Post # 1
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
I’m a full time student but in order to pay my bills (and for our upcoming wedding) I bartend on the weekends. I have been doing this for years and had my current job before I started dating my SO. Lately my SO has been getting very jealous and upset every night that I work. It is the only thing we fight about but we fight about it every weekend; he really wants me to quit. I refuse to leave my job because I feel he should trust me, not to mention I will never find another job that will allow me to work the few hours I am available while making the same amount of money I make there (without this job I literally would not be able to pay for our wedding).
I’m not looking for advice, just wondering if anyone is (or has ever been) in the same situation and if so, if things worked itself out in the end.
Post # 3
Member
4370 posts
Honey bee
Is he jealous because it takes away from your time together or jealous because of the job type/the people you interact with?
Post # 4
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
My Fiance is a songwriter so he works both a) long hours and b) with some pretty gorgeous women.
I have never ever been jealous. Sure, his long hours suck at times, but I’ve never been jealous of the girls he spends hours writing with.
Why? Because I work in an office with guys. It doesn’t mean I’m going to run off with one of them just because we’re in the same room as one another. And the same thing applies to him.
Do you know why it bothers him so much? Why he’s jealous of the guys you serve at the bar? Has he ever been a jealous type before?
Post # 6
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
He’s jealous because I work with all guys (I am the only female bartender) and he thinks that I have drunk men hitting on me all night long, which is actually at times true. He is honestly afraid that I am going to meet someone else and leave him (which is ridiculous). He didn’t seem like the jealous type when we first started dating but I see now that he is. I’ve dated crazy, controlling, jealous guys in the past, but he is not like this; he is jealous but shows it as being upset, needy and concerned (but to an extreme). It’s clear that he’s insecure with himself but honestly drunks in the bar scene aren’t something I would go for even if I was single.
We are perfect all week long until the weekend hits and this other side comes out, which annoys me and ends in a fight.
Post # 7
Member
4370 posts
Honey bee
@SR: Have you tried pointing out that seeing all those drunk guys at work just reminds you how lucky you are to be with him and not someone like them?
Working with all guys is something he is going to have get past, though. Doesn’t he have female coworkers? You could always make the point that he should be glad that you work with guys because they’re a good line of defense against any drunks who try to cross the line.
Post # 8
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
There are 2 girls that work in the office at his work but not directly with him; they are much then us. Its definitely something he will need to get past because once I’m finished school I will be working in a hospital with lots of sucessful males, if he can’t deal with this I’m not sure how he will handle that down the road
Post # 9
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
When we met I worked in a bar. No he was not jealous. That being said when we got engaged I decided to waitress instead. Why? Because in order to make good money you (I) had to flirt with my customers to a certain extent. I did not want dot do that any more. I think it issue to you.
Post # 10
Member
2120 posts
Buzzing bee
i used to work as a barista and he told me maybe i should say i was single……..so i could get more tips. im like seriously we live in a small town. they will figure it out. lol. kinda weird. some times i wish he was more jealous.
