(Closed) Any bees ever had to pay entirely/help pay for their engagement ring?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Did you help pay for your engagement ring?

    Yes, I paid the whole price for it.

    Yes, I paid a small part.

    Yes, I paid a large part.

    Yes, we split the cost.

    No, my fiance wouldn't ever let me pay any of it, and I wouldn't want to.

    No, my fiance wouldn't ever let me pay any of it, but I would have if needed.

    No, but I offered.

    No, my fiance would probably want me to, but it's just not how things are done.

  • Post # 17
    Member
    2884 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I wanted a ring that would have been unattainable on his budget, so we boht paid for my ring. We shared a bank account, and the money for the ring came out of it.

    Post # 18
    Member
    1308 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @lenabee:  I think a lot matters in the motive behind it.  My former almost Fiance wanted me to pay for the ring, but not only was it a lack of money but also a lack of commitmant on his part.  It was the signal that I was way more invested in the relationship than he was.  

    But like I said every relationship is different.  If the commitment is there and it’s mainly a matter of money (one person making more than the other) then I don’t see anything ‘wrong’ about it.

    My Fiance bought my ring, but he was very adament that it was a symbol of his commitment, if he would have brought it up or asked then I would have had no problem contributing.  

    Post # 19
    Member
    6835 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    Mine is an heirloom from my side of the family, and then we had to pay $500 to resize it, fix prongs, etc.  I paid for that. Why not? We’d been together for over a decade, I had a good job while he was paying to finish school after switching careers, and we wanted to be engaged then. Now he makes more than me and has contributed much more than that back into our joint finances.

    I don’t think it’s a good idea if you’ve only dated a couple years, but for us it was fine.

    Post # 20
    Member
    713 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I offered because I wanted a bigger diamond, but he felt it was his place to pay for it.  I nevery offered again and LOVE the ring I got, but would have happily added tI the cost.  

    Post # 21
    Member
    4066 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2009

    I didn’t, but I would have if he needed the money.  

    Post # 22
    Member
    8700 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Nope! He would definitely not have asked. He’s very traditional.

    Post # 23
    Member
    2354 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @lenabee:  I paid for my ring and Fiance paid for his. We set a very low budget for each of us because we’re both students. We’ll probably upgrade our rings later as we get more financially comfortable in life. Getting a diamond was not a priority for either of us, but we liked the social symbol rings represented. We set a budget we were comfortable paying cash, and just looked at rings within that price range. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Fiance paid entirely for my engagement ring, then I bought my wedding band. I don’t see a problem with it at all. I probably would have contributed to the engagament ring also if we had combined finances at that time 

    Post # 25
    Member
    1699 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 1997

    @l didn’tenabee:  no, I personally think that’s part of the courting process using an old fashioned term.lol.I like the fact that he saved, picked out, paid for the ring n proposed without any prompting.We didnt live together and he didn’t take for granted that I would be willing to marry him.I think things are different if you’re already living together.There’s r different expectations, and there may be shared finances. Whatever works for the couple really

     

     

    Post # 26
    Member
    7813 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    No, but it wasn’t very expensive. I didn’t want either of us to waste money. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    1908 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

    No, but I helped pay for my wedding band. Fiance wasn’t really aware he was going to have to buy me “another ring” in addition to my ering, so I helped pay since what I wanted was more than he could afford after buying my ering. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    866 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @lenabee:  I didn’t pay for the ring and even though I would have, FH would never accept the money. He’s pretty traditional in that way – he paid for it with his own money (we don’t share finances).

    Post # 29
    Member
    30 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I can’t believe this is a tradition! It’s a gift from your fiancé, and one you should have nothing to do with… I still think women should not at all even help look for the ring bc it ruins the surprise and generosity of his gift to you. I did help pay for the wedding ring bc it was part of the wedding budget, but really it’s a financial sign that he’s ready to be married when he purchases the ring.

    Post # 30
    Member
    141 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    My fiance and I split the ring. When I first brought up the idea he was NOT impressed. But in the end it just made the most sense for us. We’re both students still living at home. So without bills to pay we are able to have a significant amount of our savings in investments to save up for our house. We decided to split the cost instead of moving around money and taking a hit on the investments. We’re going to combine our accounts after we’re married anyways, so in the end it doesn’t really make a difference whose account it came out of.

    Post # 31
    Member
    217 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    My ring was 4500, I paid about 1000 towards it.

     

    I had no problem doing this because I had the ring custom made and it was exactly what I wanted.

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