(Closed) Any bees ever had to pay entirely/help pay for their engagement ring?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Did you help pay for your engagement ring?

    Yes, I paid the whole price for it.

    Yes, I paid a small part.

    Yes, I paid a large part.

    Yes, we split the cost.

    No, my fiance wouldn't ever let me pay any of it, and I wouldn't want to.

    No, my fiance wouldn't ever let me pay any of it, but I would have if needed.

    No, but I offered.

    No, my fiance would probably want me to, but it's just not how things are done.

  • Post # 47
    Member
    59 posts
    Worker bee

    With one of the more expensive rings my partner and I were looking at, it was suggested to us that I could always contribute towards the ring, at first I was taken aback but came to the conclusion that it was only fair without putting financial strain on my partner. In the end he opted for a ring that I loved more and that was a lot more affordable for him so it all worked out.

     

    Post # 48
    Member
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We already had shared finances.. So the money came out of our joint account.

    Post # 49
    Member
    441 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We have joint bank accounts, so I guess I paid as well? Generally we live on his income and mine goes into our savings account, so seeing as the ring came out of that account, you could say I paid!

    Post # 50
    Member
    1117 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    We keep separate bank accounts. I had offered to pay for my ring but since nothing about our relationship has been traditional (and I had asked for a romantic proposal) he decided I wasn’t allowed to know anything about the ring or put any money towards it.

    Post # 51
    Member
    511 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I would have helped but he wanted to get something on his own. We ended up with an heirloom ring and he repeatedly has brought up that he feels guilty for not having bought me a ring. i jokingly told him he could make up for it with a wedding band, but I already have the one that came with me e-ring. So we’ve settled on an amazing band that we can add to the set for him to purchase. It honestly doesn’t bother me at all that he didn’t have to pay for anything. 

    Post # 52
    Member
    25 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    My boyfriend is very traditional, so no, I made no contributions to my ring. If I had suggested helping, I’m pretty sure that would have offended him. 

    Post # 53
    Member
    1047 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Fiance had my ring made secretly so he paid himself (luckily the stone was an heirloom so it wasn’t too expensive). I would have offered to help pay as I think it’s a bit old fashioned (and a bit sexist) to expect the guy to have to pay out loads of money because hes a man. But Fiance is more traditional than me so I don’t think he would have been happy with that. 

    Post # 54
    Member
    375 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I paid for part of it because I wanted the ring of my dreams with a bigger and better quality diamond, and because I don’t want to upgrade in the future. I want to wear for the rest of my life the ring he gave to me when he proposed.

    Post # 55
    Member
    3551 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I paid for the whole thing upfront. The next month was my turn to pay rent and Fiance paid it for me, since rent is about 1/2 of my ring I say we split it 50/50. The reason I paid was that we happened to go in to look at the stone our jeweler had ordered in for me on a day they were having a large sale on all of the engagement rings in the store. We saved around 10% on the cost of my ring by paying it all upfornt. I had all of the money in savings ready to go and Fiance didn’t.

    Post # 56
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    View original reply
    @stephee:  We did the same thing! His watch was only 800$ though..so I won that deal. Haha.

    Post # 57
    Member
    534 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We were already living together and combined finances so I guess you could say 50/50!

    Post # 58
    Member
    75 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I was not a fan of being surprised by a ring given that it was an expensive purchase and I really wanted to like it and never replace or change it. Not as much for sentimental reasons, but for practicality. 

    He brought up ring shopping and the first store we went to was the one he wanted to go to (and ultimately wound up buying there even though we were both unimpressed by the evil saleslady). We picked out the ring, agreed on what we decided was a reasonable price. He bought the setting and I bought the diamond since he didn’t have as much expendable income as I had. I prefered that he keep paying down his student loans and pay extra each month than drain his savings and make him nervous about his bank account. I was already was living in his place, so I didn’t pay rent the last few months and with a NYC apt, it made up the cost of the diamond so he essentially paid for the ring himself.

    I certainly don’t think my engagement was any less real/meaningful than if he had picked it out himself and paid for it all at once. 

    Post # 59
    Member
    722 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I think once the couple lives together financies are blurred as far as the er…

    My Fiance was living in another country.  And I could not make up my mind about the ring. But, I knew I wanted to get the ring in the US.  I ended up ordering the stone from the internet and having a setting designed.  We had little idea of what the total cost would be but we did discuss budget.  When the ring was finally made I told my Fiance the final cost and he gave me the money for it.   May not be romantic – but – it is what it is.  I agree that the man surprising the woman with a ring he picked out and paid for is romantic.  But, not realistic for us.

    When I moved abroad with him he picked a day to get down on one knee and did his thing.  Even though I knew what the ring would look like it was still a moment. 

    Post # 60
    Member
    516 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I couldn’t really tell you who technically paid for mine. We purchased it together and all of our money goes into my checking account. We share all of our money equally.

    Post # 61
    Member
    1000 posts
    Bumble bee

    Joint purchases here.

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