(Closed) Any bees ever had to pay entirely/help pay for their engagement ring?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Did you help pay for your engagement ring?

    Yes, I paid the whole price for it.

    Yes, I paid a small part.

    Yes, I paid a large part.

    Yes, we split the cost.

    No, my fiance wouldn't ever let me pay any of it, and I wouldn't want to.

    No, my fiance wouldn't ever let me pay any of it, but I would have if needed.

    No, but I offered.

    No, my fiance would probably want me to, but it's just not how things are done.

  • Post # 62
    Member
    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    As a few above, we’ve had entirely joint finances for years now so we shared the cost.

    Post # 63
    Member
    49 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We picked out our rings together, and paid for them together since it was our combined finances. there are moments on the bee when I want the fairy tale surprise but our way was perfect for us 🙂 

    Post # 64
    Member
    1039 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2004

    I did not pay for any of it and I would not have wanted to.  

    Post # 65
    Member
    2181 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I offered to pay the difference if I fell in love with a ring that was over the budget he set. My ring ended up being under budget, so it was a moot point!

    Post # 66
    Member
    1204 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - parent\'s backyard

    it’s not that he would never let me pay for it. he’s more enlightened than that. if I was the breadwinner of the household he would have let me pay. but he makes a lot more than I do so it makes sense that he took care of it.

    Post # 67
    Member
    1298 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I offered to contribute, but he was affronted, he said it was a gift from him to me. We consider the money “ours” even though we haven’t combined finances yet, so we decided together on a budget. 

    So to assuage my guilt, I bought him an engagement guitar. He was SUPER excited. 

    Post # 68
    Member
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @MsW-to-MrsM:  It depends on how the couple shares finances. We plan to pool everything and do a his/hers/ours division, so my Christmas gift for him would come out of “my” account – even though technically it’s all ours.

    I’m actually surprised by how many unmarried couples completely combined finances. That seems risky to me.

    Post # 69
    Member
    5486 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    No way.  I’m too old-fashioned.

    Post # 70
    Member
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @lenabee:  I put that I would help if needed.

    I MUCH preferred to work within his budget, but if I had fallen in love with something that was way out of it then I would have considered it proper to offer to pay the difference. Luckily what I liked was well within the budget. I didn’t want to help. 

    I bought him a watch as an engagement gift. He DID choose something higher than the budget I gave him, and we just took the difference out of our joint account. I wanted him to have the one he loved, and that is how we accomplished that. He was hesitant, he didn’t want to use every last penny of my budget but I had set one that I would be comfortable with and I didn’t mind. 

    Post # 71
    Member
    458 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I paid half.  

    But I honestly don’t see an engagement ring as a gift and it was my idea to pay half.  He didn’t ask me to.  Actually, the ring we chose was under his budget but I still paid half because it was something I wanted to do.  

    Post # 72
    Member
    2344 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @lenabee:  we were already sharing money so I guess technically I helped. I don’t think it’s a big deal

    Post # 73
    Member
    2247 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I offered to help as it’s something that represents both of us. He said no. BUUUUT 3 months into our engagement we combined finances so technically we’re both making the payment on the ring.

    Post # 74
    Member
    741 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Vegas baby!

    My situation may be a little different, but my fiance and I have been together for over 4 years. We have lived together for 3 1/2. I was previously married, and have two children. We have joint accounts, we pay for everything combined. All of our bills, expenses, etc etc come from BOTH of us. So does my ring. We are older than the newer bees (he is 30, I’m 29) and probably more established as well considering. So, we both paid! 🙂 If we were early 20’s, living separately, etc then he would probably have bought it himself.

    Post # 75
    Member
    392 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I put the ring on my credit card because I get better CC rewards than he does (saving up those airline miles for a honeymoon!); he fussed a little but agreed as long as he could pay it off.

    We live together, have almost identical incomes, are about to merge finances, and already share bills, so the distinction on who paid for what seemed quite academic to me.

    Post # 76
    Member
    1436 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    While I didn’t contribute to my engagement ring, I wouldn’t feel funny if I needed to either. 

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