- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
double post. sorry.
double post. sorry.
We decided early on to pay for each other’s rings… luckily for him I had my eyes set on a rough rose cut .35 carat diamond ring for around $400. He then found a really cool rosewood and titanium band for himself around the same price. We ended up going on a trip to visit my friend nearby and the etsy seller that made his ring actually had a shop location in that city. I didn’t have the money, so he paid for his own and when we got home I purchased mine with my credit card. I didn’t really care about wedding bands so I ordered a tiny twisted rose gold band for $46. Later, when I recieved my e-ring, though I absolutely love it…. it was a bit thinner than I imagined, so I chose to buy another band with diamonds so I can stack all three but now we’ve now combined bank accounts so technically we’re both buying. It’s not the most romantic, but I did not want him purchasing all of the rings.
We have a joint account and we live together, so it came from “our” money. But I guess technically it was “his” money as I was finishing school at that time. We don’t do the whole his money my money thing. It’s our money regardless if I’m working or a student, the same goes for him.
Fiance paid for all of it all by himself. When the center diamond needed to be replaced (for which I felt horrible), I offered to pay for the coincidental upgrade, but he refused. He told me that he has always felt the engagement ring should be solely on the guy. I attempted to argue, but he had none of it.
However, we are each paying for our wedding bands, which apparently is a no-go traditionally. We also tend to pay equally for everything. But for the e-ring, he was very insistent it be all on him – and honestly, if he had asked me to pay for the original ring, I would have been quite caught off guard.
Fiance proposed with an heirloom, but i didnt like it so I paid fr a ring that I enjoyed wearing as I had some spare cash lying around and wanted something different before I showed all my friends etc. it was an heirloom on my side and Fiance didn’t think it was great either, he just thought I’d appreciate the sentimental side and I am also a tight arse with money and appreciated the savings lol.
My opinion is that the tradition of the engagement ring symbolizing the man’s ability to provide (this is where the idea of the man buying the ring came from) is quite out dated, even a little sexist. I think that the couple making the purchase together on their own financial terms is a nice way to start a partnership.
When we first started talking about it, he brought it up. I was upset, but after thinking about it, I realized that I actually wouldn’t have minded. He ended up paying for the whole thing.
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