Any bees foster parents? Or people who have been in the system?

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
1287 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve been in the foster care system (age 14-17). And the #1 thing I wanted growing up was stability like knowing there’s someone who will be home everyday and food in the fridge. My foster mom became a foster parent to me and my sister because her daughter was our friend and she stepped up when we were living in a group home.

Post # 4
2493 posts
Buzzing bee

I was in foster care 12-18 after being homeless at 12.

You need to not be treated like a stereotype of a damaged kid.

You need to feel seen and respected, not treated like you’re in any way at fault for the way your parent(s) raised you til that point.

You need adults to understand you ARE just a kid, even though it may not seem that way because you’ve built a defense wall a mile high to protect yourself from your environment out of necessity. 

You need foster parents to NOT put their emotional baggage and needs onto your shoulders.

You need patience and kindness and a lot of do-overs.

You need non-reactiveness.

You need your own parent(s) to not be villianized, because you are partly them. 

You need a LOT of trust (once you’ve been given the opportunity to earn it,) because you probably basically raised yourself before being in the foster system, and suddenly not having someone trust you will feel like the biggest slap in the face and take away what little self-confidence and self-love you have. 

You need social development mentoring, support, and encouragement – how to establish and maintain healthy friendships, play team sports, resist peer pressure, etc.

Post # 6
3417 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I work with kids, and I’m currently taking a class on children with trauma. The professor had us watch this video, and I think you might be interested in seeing it. I was amazed by how accurately it depicted what so many children go through. There’s a part 2 as well. I think this is a must-see for potential foster parents!

I’m not going to finish grad school for a few years so I’m not in the position to foster, but I would love to do it some day. 

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