Sorry if this is annoying or irrelevant, but I wanted to respond anyways.
I am not married yet (recently engaged), but my fiance and I are very fortunate to have a lot of people in our lives who have been happily married for long lengths of time and who show no sign of stopping.
Both of our sets of parents have been married 30+ years (my parents are celebrating their 40th in one month!)
My brother and sister in law have been married 15 years (today, actually!)
One pair of close friends of ours have been married 9 years but together for 15. Another pair has been married for 10 years and together 13 or 14.
All of our married Aunts and Uncles on both sides of the family have been married anywhere from 15-40 years. Only divorce on either side of our families is my one much older cousin on my moms side who TBH just isn’t a good decision maker in general and whose ex our entire family hated from the start. We’ve both got cousins who have been married 10+ years. Out of our social groups, we only have one pair of friends that divorced, and that was in their second year of marriage and not entirely surprising to anyone.
Given that the vast majority of our friends and family who have gotten married have remained married (and happy), I think we are on pretty solid foundation and have very healthy views about what makes a relationship healthy. So I’m going to semi answer your questions based on the relationships we have learned from.
1. How long have you been married?
2. How long were you dating before you got engaged? How long were you engaged before you were married?
We were dating 3.5 years when we got engaged and will marry on or around our 6th anniversary. Most of our friends/family got engaged around 1.5-2 years in.
3. Is this your first marriage?
For both of us, yes. And among our friends and family, only one pair involves a second marriage and that is my one recently married bro whose new wife is on her 2nd (his first).
4. Do you have children? If so, how many?
We will not be having children. Most of our family/friends who have been married 10+ years do have kids. The one pair of friends that have been together 15 yrs and married 9 do not have kids (but unfortunately, not by choice). Same with one of my Aunt/Uncle pairs.
5. Did you live together before marriage?
Most of my family didn’t. His family are about half and half. All of our friends did.
6. Do you share a bed or do you have beds a la I Love Lucy?
We share a bed and as far as I am aware so do all our married friends and family.
7. What is the “secret” to a long-lasting, happy marriage? Or if you could give one piece of advice to others for their marriage, what would you say?
I honestly believe that it comes down to having a “team” mentality. You can love one another to the moon and back and still have a shit marriage if you don’t see your partner as your teammate in life. That doesn’t mean you lose your individual identities or anything, but that everything you do, everything you face and every decision you make is filtered through what’s best for “us”, not what’s best for “me”.