Any bees not changing their last names…

posted 1 year ago in Family
Post # 46
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

rheedic :  “for the first time as husband and wife, Haneul and Ji-hae”

I like the sound of that, nice suggestion!

Post # 48
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I didn’t change my name, for a whole bunch of reasons, just like you. Plus, it’s my name, why would I change it? I’m of the opinion that you’re not any less married if you keep your own name lol. Also, my mom kept her last name, so it felt like a natural progression. I noticed that some people did ask me if I was planning to change it, which surprised me. But I was just like “nope” and they were like “oh.” It’s just kind of a small talk question that people might sometimes ask when you’re planning a wedding. You don’t need to pour your heart out about it, just casually say nope, you’re attached to your name. 

I don’t really know what my husband’s family thinks of it, but I definitely don’t care lol. I worry about all kinds of things my in laws might be thinking about me, don’t get me wrong. But with something as personal as WHAT YOUR NAME IS, there’s no way in-laws potential disapproval should factor in at all. Even if they choose to share it with you or your fiancé. Stay strong bee! 🙂

Post # 49
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m still trying to decide whether to take my ff’s last name. We’ve talked about it thoroughly and he doesn’t mind me keeping my last name at all. I want to keep my last name because I sincerely love it and I have a family of all girls and we would rather keep our last name going. It’s rare and my dad was an only child so there’s not many of us left to carry on the name. When I told my mom she flipped. She’s very tradional and told me it would be wrong to keep my last name and I should at the very least hyphenate it. I dont want that, my ff’s name is extremely complicated, but I would like my future children to have the same last name as me. My ff suggested we hyphenate our children’s names which is very sweet of him, but I dont know if that would be the best option for them either.

Post # 50
953 posts
Busy bee

lolac :  it’s interesting you mentioned future kids will have your name to avoid bias. 

My husband is mixed race (Indian and Wite) and I am mixed race (Black and White). In both cases our last names are super eropean sounding, but he specifically does not want to use any Indian first names because he doesn’t want them to go through what he did. 

I am very glad I kept my maidesn name. My first name and his last name sound genuinely terrible together so I never even considered it. Also, totally fine when people accidently address me as Mrs (his name). I used to correct them, now I just don’t care. 

I think in the 21st century, people are pretty accustom to kids having their mom’s name. I’d be shocked if anyone gave you any issues over this. 

Post # 52
18 posts
  • Wedding: November 2018

lolac :  So I AM changing my last name and I’m getting a lot of questions about it. As far as kids are concerned I obviously don’t have that issue personally. I live in a very liberal part of the country and consider myself a feminist so my friends are constantly asking questions and having opinions. Why I’m posting this is to say people are going to have opinions one way or the other. People are going to think it’s something they can have input on. It’s your name and it’s your choice with your husband what to name your kids. 

Post # 53
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

My sister never changed her name! I think she initially intended to, but a lot happened immediately following the wedding (a miscarriage, and a few months later another pregnancy that gave me my perfect niece.) She just never got around to it, and then ultimately decided not to deal with it. If anyone ever had an issue with it, I never heard about it. The only time it really came up was after the birth of my niece; the hospital put the wrong last name on the birth certificate LOL. It got cleared up quickly though.

I, however, will be changing my last name. I don’t give a hoot about some old sexist tradition… I just hate my maiden name because everyone mispronounces it! My FH’s name is incredibly common, and I can’t wait.

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