(Closed) Any Bees not having or want a Bridal Shower?

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 16
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

No need or want here either. I’m already living with Fiance, and anything we may want is going on our registry. But we’re having an intimate wedding and definitely no showers because we’re a couple who doesn’t really like all the fanfare. It makes us uncomfortable haha. 

Post # 18
Member
3829 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I had multiple people offer to host showers and I turned them all down. We had been living together for awhile and I really didn’t need more stuff. Heck I still have wedding gifts I haven’t used yet (2yrs) I can’t imagine having a shower on top of that! 

I think showers are old fashioned Now. Especially when couples are living together and are older. They also are just boring, at least all the ones I have been to wEre. We had a stag n doe (just a big party) and then bachelor/ettes and that was plenty to celebrate.  

Post # 19
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

bubblescomere:  I’m not a fan of being the center of attention and even the thought of the wedding day makes me a bit nervous. I did not have a shower or a bachelorette as we really don’t NEED too many things (already living together) and I see no point in a bachelorette party (as I stopped being single LONG ago!) I don’t think it’s a big deal and to me, I feel others would be bored with tiring party games or watching the bride open presents…maybe I’m just a hater lol!

Post # 20
Member
3050 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I don’t want one personally. So, I’d just be honest about my feelings and make it known if someone was trying to plan one.

Post # 21
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

You could point out to her that they’re not done in other parts of the world. I’ve been to dozens of weddings in Australia and New Zealan, but no wedding showers. Games are for the bachelorette, gifts are for the engagement party AND wedding. Another party seems a bit too much for me!

Post # 22
Bee
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: The Mansion at Valley Country Club

I didn’t want one, and I didn’t have one. I think sometimes people think you’re being coy when you say you don’t want one. For me, they’re just boring and awkward, and I’m not into receiving gifts. It makes me uncomfortable. I just made it very, very clear that in no way did I want a shower, and the message finally got across to them.

Post # 23
Member
1053 posts
Bumble bee

I didnt want a shower, but my Future Sister-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law insist on hosting one for me, this will be the last family wedding on their side, so I just let them do what they want. 

It is sweet that they want to do it for me and so I will not oppose. 

Post # 24
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I had a Destination Wedding and I definitely didn’t want an occasion where anyone felt required to bring a gift… but I did like the idea of everyone coming together.  So I did something a little different – I had a ‘blessing shower’.  It was the day before my wedding, and we just did brunch at the apartment where my mum was staying – pretty casual.  One of my friends send out an email a month or so before, inviting people, and telling them that they could bring a blessing in the form of something written, a story, a song, etc.  

It was moving, and beautiful, and I’m so glad I did it – I know that this won’t work for bees who hate being the center of attention (lol) but for anyone who would like to have a gathering but is uncomfortable about gifts, it’s definitely another way to do it, and it went so well :).

Post # 25
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill

I hear you on this. I don’t really want one either. In Ontario it is popular to have a Stag & Doe party which we did so I feel like it’s really unnecessary to have a bridal shower as well. A party with all our friends and family (not just the women) was way more appealing to me. Plus since people already spent money at our Stag & Doe for us, I wouldn’t want them to spend any more.

Post # 26
Member
416 posts
Helper bee

Traditional showers make me cringe. As a guest, I’m always bored by the games and as a bride, I don’t have space for more stuff. My Maid/Matron of Honor pointed out that my family won’t be attending the bachelorette so the shower was their only pre-wedding activity. So we are doing a simple lunch together, no gifts, no games. The only thing is I feel weird having my Maid/Matron of Honor pay for me and my family and future family to have lunch so I will be covering the costs so now it’s an expense I hadn’t budgeted for. 

Post # 27
Member
12119 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I didn’t want or have either a shower or a registry. If someone had done one as a surprise, I’d have been fine with it, of course.  From a practical POV, my closest friends and family members lived out of town and our engagement was under a year. People couldn’t afford the time or money to fly in multiple times for pre-wedding events and I wouldn’t want to impose on them to feel obligated. All my parent’s friends sent engagement gifts on their own, though. 

Post # 28
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I’m not having one. My mom passed away though, so maybe if she was around of if I had more female relatives I’d have one. My sister is planning a ladies high tea or brunch instead with my future Mother-In-Law, other sister, bridesmaid and a couple other close ladies. No gifts, just a little gathering once everyone is in town. 

Maybe just discuss what kind of “shower” you would be ok with? I can understand your sister wanting to throw one. It doesn’t need to be gifts and games. 

Post # 29
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

I would accept graciously.  No one offered to throw us one and there is lots of stuff we need 🙁 we are in our 20s and do not live together. Dont get me wrong I hate being the center of attention but I mean, my fi has all of ONE set of sheets for his bed, and we  have no nice dishes and barely any cookware.

Post # 30
Member
1831 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I didn’t have one. I ran a 5k in honor of DH’s mother. Asked for donations to my run instead of gifts and had a picnic after the race. We already had a (small) household full of everything we needed and I just didn’t want more stuff. I’m currently pregnant and not having a baby shower for the same reason. We got so much free stuff second hand from friends and relatives that it would just be superfluous. I also have a real aversion to clutter.

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