(Closed) Any brides having problems with their parents being difficult?

posted 11 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My family will be flying half way around the world for my wedding but that is because FI’s family are living half way around the world so its not really our choice since he is paying for it all. Where as having your wedding in FL is your choice so I’m really not sure. Could you choose to compromise either on location or on date?

Post # 4
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s your day… I wouldn’t compromise on the location if I were you.  It sounds like the location you chose has significance to both you and your Fiance and that’s all that matters.  Your family should really be ashamed of themselves, in my opinion.  If they don’t have anything positive to say, they should keep it to themselves. 

When you first mentioned wanting to have it in FL, if they had concerns, they should’ve been voiced at that point… but once you made it clear that this was important to you and your Fiance, the subject should’ve been dropped.  Either come and be happy about it or be mad and stay home… I really hope they don’t come down and bring the negativity along.. if I were you I’d tell them that.  If you plan to not have a positive attitude and burden me & my Fiance with your complaints, I’d rather you stay home. 

Post # 5
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

NOPE! Stick you your location. I was having the same problem with my family because I chose a destination wedding in Puerto Rico. Once they see you are serious about your location they would have no other choice than to get on board but if you are still going back and forth trying to accommodate their needs, they’ll see that as a way to manipulate you into changing it.  They need to be more appreciative especially since you are paying for their accommodations. A flight from PA to NY is very reasonable and you are giving them notice to plan accordingly! I’m not even paying for accomodations. Just make it clear that this is what is best for you and your fiance and you are moving forward. They’ll come around to it….destination weddings take some getting used to for families lol.

Post # 8
1662 posts
Bumble bee

I would stick with your location, it’s your wedding (as long as you two are fully paying for it). I also had a Destination Wedding, luckily our parents were supportive. My mom said something the night before the wedding that really stuck with me. She said she had the wedding her parents wanted and always regretted it, so she wanted me and my Fiance (now DH) to have the wedding WE wanted. I’d focus on this. It’s your day, it should be your wedding. 

And I’m sure when the wedding comes your parents will have an awesome time. 

Post # 10
3625 posts
Sugar bee

Is it just about them or are they upset about other family members being unable to afford it,especially a few weeks before Christmas? Lots of people feel unhappy about destination weddings, no matter where the location. The world is changing,tho, and I’ll be surprised if they don’t come around. Best of luck!

Post # 11
4590 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

 I wanted a destination wedding so bad, but it wasn’t in the cards for us. Fortunately, we got married in a location that has tons of significance to my family, so I was just as happy getting married there. I am trying to talk my ILs into having a destination wedding though!! Haha, I would love to be able to have some destination weddings to go to, so I could live vicariously through other people Wink

Post # 13
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We are also getting married in FL.  My parents were OK with the idea, but then Mom and I took a weekend and went to FL to do some cake tastings.  After she saw our ceremony and reception locations, she was like “OK, NOW I can see why you want to get married here.”  OP – maybe you and your mom can plan a girls weekend down there to do some wedding planning stuff and she might get on board?

Also, Future Mother-In-Law is NOT happy we are not having the wedding in Chicago (where his family is from, but not mine – mine live in PA).  Its really annoying, especially because every time I talk to her about the wedding, she just blows me off and says that no one is going to show up.  

But, whaveter….if everyone shows up, we will be having a very large, kick-ass party!  If not everyone shows up, then we will still be having a kick-ass party, but it will be cheaper for us! 

Post # 15
14 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

Parents and future PILs can be difficult…especially if they didnt have the wedding that THEY wanted when they got married. Sometimes they just like to think that its not a big deal to change your plans to accomidate out of towners or other family members you may not have wanted to include.

I am having a VERY small wedding, only 25 people, exactly how my fiance and I wanted it to happen. All of the parents have to come to us, as we all live in seperate places, and the rest of the wedding is friends right from the town we live in. Wouldn’t have it any other way!

I am somewhat glad all of them are elsewhere as this makes all of the wedding plans up to me and Fiance, so we definately get it how we want it!

Do it just how you want because no one can fix a regret.

Post # 16
36 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

@alabiak: It’s good to hear someone being so level headed about a difficult situation. Hope you have a totally fantastic day!

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